Kendall&Logan SongFics
by OutsiderRushheart
Summary: Here's my series of song-fics...Mostly Kogan. I know what the title says, but there will be some Jarlos too.
1. Don't Forget

**Hi people, so I will be starting "The Secret Life of Logan Mitchell" and finishing "Falling into Darkness" but I just wanted to put this out before I forgot…Soooo this is a series of song-fics :) Enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR or the song.**

***I apologize ahead of time for any grammar errors ;D* **

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**_Did you forget?_

_That I was even alive..._

_Did you forget?_

_Everything we ever had..._

_Did you forget?_

_Did you forget?_

_About me..._

Logan swallowed hard as a voice spoke from the other line. "Hello? Hello?" Instead of answering, the brunette hung up the phone. It was too hard...He just couldn't face Kendall...especially after everything that had happened, it was just too painful. _How could he do it to me? How could he just forget about what we had? _Logan's mind screamed.

_Did you regret?_

_(Did you regret?)_

_Ever standing by my side..._

_Did you forget?_

_(Did you forget?)_

_What we were feeling inside..._

_Now I'm left..._

_To forget..._

_About us..._

Logan still remembered the day all to well. He would never forget the way Kendall had seemed so embarrassed...the way his bright green eyes had shown nothing but regret...A single tear slid down Logan's cheek as he remembered Kendall's words...

_But somewhere we went wrong..._

_We were once so strong..._

_Our love is like a song..._

_You can't forget it..._

'This was so stupid Logan! Our relationship has completely ruined our!' The words echoed in the brunette's ears. They had fought that day...Eventually it began to get physical... Logan gently touched his cheek which had once been swollen from a blow he had received during the fight. 'I hate you!' Logan had shouted at Kendall. _How could we go from in-separable to completely dead to each other? _He slid down until he was in a sitting position. Logan felt more tears slide down. His heart ached knowing how quickly Kendall had moved on...Just last night the brunette had watched a couple of interviews on TV...Kendall and Jo had officially declared themselves a couple and Big Time Rush was going on as a trio...

_So now I guess..._

_This is where we have to stand_

_Did you regret?_

_Ever holding my hand..._

_Never again..._

_Please don't forget..._

_Don't forget_

Logan stood up slowly, and headed towards his room. He was living in Minnesota again with his father… He hoped that if he moved back, everything would fade away. Logan realized it was stupid to think that...Everything in Minnesota just reminded him of Kendall...Collapsing on his old bed; Logan tried to remember the warm feeling that shot through his body every time Kendall held his hand. The brunette knew he couldn't ever get that feeling ever again...No one could replace the way he had felt for Kendall...

_We had it all_

_We were just about to fall_

_Even more in love_

_Then we were before_

_I won't forget_

_I won't forget_

_About us_

Logan rolled over on his side and reached into the duffel bag beside his bed. He pulled out a cracked pictured framed. It held the last picture of him and Kendall before it all fell apart. Logan starred at himself and almost couldn't recognize the person. He had been so happy in this picture...Logan felt as if he couldn't ever be that happy again. The brunette let out a stuttering breath as a wet tear dripped onto the photo.

_But somewhere we went wrong_

_We were once so strong..._

_Our love is like a song..._

_You can't forget it..._

Logan placed the picture on his bed-side table and rolled back onto his back. Starring at the ceiling, the brunette felt like all his feelings would bubble over._ I hate Kendall; I love Kendall, I'm glad our relationship is over; our break-up was the worst thing to ever happen, I could care less that BTR is a trio now; seeing BTR as a trio breaks my heart even more... _Logan's mind was screaming. "Stop it Logan, he has forgotten about you!" He shouted out loud.

_Somewhere we went wrong!_

_We were once so strong!_

_Our love is like a song!_

_You can't forget it!_

_At all!_

"He never loved you, why do you keep hurting over him?" Logan screamed at himself. It hurt him even more knowing he was probably right. Kendall was obviously straight, and didn't want to hurt Logan when he had told the blonde how he felt. Logan didn't want to believe it...He _really _didn't...The brunette closed his eyes, letting himself be flooded with memories. His memories took him back to before him and Kendall were 'together.'

_And at last..._

_All the pictures have been burned..._

_All the past..._

_Is just a lesson that we've learned…_

_I won't forget..._

_Please don't forget…_

_About us…_

Kendall had been Logan's first friend when he had moved from Texas to Minnesota...Kendall had been the first to stand up for Logan when he was bullied...Kendall was one who gave Logan the strength to carry on after his mother's death...Kendall was the one...Logan wouldn't fight it anymore. Tears blinding him, Logan grabbed the picture frame in one hand and bolted towards the door. He ran. Ran until he reached the edge of the forest he, Kendall, Carlos, and James used to play in. Logan took one last glance at the photo before throwing it as hard as he could into the woods (1).

_Somewhere we went wrong..._

_Our love is like a song…_

_But you won't sing along..._

_You've forgotten..._

_About..._

_Us..._

Logan had been so consumed in his own pain and anger; he hadn't noticed it had begun to rain. He was only halfway home, when it began to come down harder. Logan didn't care. Drenched in what felt like his own sorrow, Logan slowly walked home.

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**Ugh! Why do I do this to myself? The next chapter is gonna be "Back to December" which will kinda be Kendall's perspective about what just happened... Sort of a sequel.**

**Yeah, it's not being burned, but I was going to use that picture in the next chapter so yeah =)**


	2. Back to December

**Here is Kendall's POV in the sequel-ish songfic to "Don't forget." **

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR or the song.**

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**_I'm so glad _

_You made time to see me_

_How's life?_

_Tell me how's your family?_

_I haven't seen them in a while..._

Dear Logan,

Hey, its Kendall...How are you? How's your father; I haven't seen him in a long time.

_You've been good_

_Busier than ever_

_We small talk_

_Work and the weather_

_Your guard is up and I know why_

Um, how's school-oh, have you found a good medical school yet? James, Carlos, and I have had to spend more and more time at Rocque Records...I heard there was a blizzard in Minnesota; it seems like L.A gets hotter every day...Listen, I'm writing this letter for two reasons. First, I want to try to friends again...What I mean is, I was thinking about the last time we called each other. I justcouldn't get over the way we acted as if we barley knew each other!

_Cause the last time_

_You saw me_

_Is still burned in the back of your mind_

_You gave me roses_

_And I left them there to die..._

Before I move on to telling you the second reason for writing this letter, I completely understand if you rip this up the second you finish reading it…What I did is probably still burned into you…Logan, you were probably the best thing that had ever happened to me, and I tore you apart…

_So this is me swallowing my pride _

_Standin' in front of you_

_Sayin' I'm sorry for that night_

_And I go back to December all the time_

_It turns out freedom ain't nothin' but missing you_

_Wishin' I realized what I had_

_When you were mine_

_I'd go back to December_

_Turn around and make it all right_

_I go back to December all the time_

Logan, the second thing is...I'm sorry. Sorrier than I've ever been in my life. It's been a year, and I know this apology is coming far too late. December must be painful to go through because of what I did. I suppose I believed that breaking up would free us of all the haters...free us of everything we had wanted to escape from...I was wrong. I know I was stupid. I shouldn't have cared what they thought. You were mine, and that should've been the only thing that mattered. Logie...every day, every night, I wish I could go back to that December night so I could take back the words I said to you...

_These days_

_I haven't been sleeping_

_Stayin' up _

_Playin' back_

_Myself leaving _

_When your birthday passed _

_And I didn't call..._

_And I think about summer_

_All the beautiful times_

_I watched you laughin' from the passenger side_

_Realized that I loved you_

_In the fall..._

Logan, I have been up night after night, remembering that night. It is as if it is on an endless replay. What makes it worse is that I never had the courage to even call you on your birthday three months ago...Logie, you have no idea how much I take out that picture of us from last summer...You know? Our last picture before it all went wrong...And I want you to know I never forgot the afternoon we fell in love...We were sitting in the Big Time Rush-Mobile, watching the sunset; I told you your laugh was cute, you told me my smile was cute.

_Then the cold came_

_The dark days when fear crept into my mind_

_You gave me all your love_

_And all I gave you was..._

_Goodbye..._

But...then I stopped remembering the feeling I had that day...I was embarrassed...Scared of the haters and what they would do to hurt us emotionally, and maybe even physically. Logan, I should've been stronger for you. You gave me all your love...All I gave you was goodbye.

_So this is me swallowing my pride _

_Standin' in front of you_

_Sayin' I'm sorry for that night_

_And I go back to December all the time_

_It turns out freedom ain't nothin' but missing you_

_Wishin' I realized what I had_

_When you were mine_

_I'd go back to December_

_Turn around and change my own mind_

_I go back to December all the time_

Logan, I know no matter how many times I say it, you probably will never believe me...I'd do anything, pay anything-heck, I'd even give up my own life to change my mind. To change what I said to you that night. Every December is not only torture for you...I feel the same pain as well.

_I miss your tan skin_

_Your sweet smile_

_So good to me_

_So right_

_And how you held me in your arms _

_That September night_

_The first time_

_You ever saw me cry_

Logan...You weren't like the others. You may have thought of yourself as imperfect. An outsider. But I believed you were amazing. You thought you were flawed in every way. But I believed you were perfect and I know you will not believe me. You were a better boyfriend to me, than Jo was a girlfriend. Every night I remember the way we would lie together and talk about our day. Before we were even in love...You were the one who was there for me when Jo left me...It was the first time you ever saw me cry...

_Maybe this is wishful thinkin' _

_Probably mindless dreamin' _

_If we loved again_

_I swear I'd love you right_

_I'd go back in time_

_And change it_

_But I can't_

_So if the chain is on your door_

_I understand..._

Logie...I know writing this letter may just be full of wishful thinking...mindless thinking...Please understand Logan...If we ever loved again, I would love you right. I'll apologize as many times as I can. I can't change that night. I'll understand if you never want to see me again.

Yours truly,

Kendall Knight

_But this is me swallowing my pride_

_Standin' in front of you_

_Sayin' I'm sorry for that night_

_And I go back to December all the time_

_It turns out freedom ain't nothin' but missing you_

_Wishin' I realized what I had_

_When you were mine_

_I'd go back to December_

_Turn around and make it all right _

_I'd go back to December_

_Turn around and change my own mind_

_I go back to December all the time..._

_All the time..._

_

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_**Why do I do this to myself! I was getting seriously depressed writing this chapter...Oh, and I just realized...I didn't need that picture frame...Oh well. I definitely need to write a happier songfic next =) **

**Oh, and sorry for any grammar errors, I was up early to finish this ;D **


	3. Misery Buisness

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Heyyyyy peoples! So, sometime I will write a songfic about what Kendall said in "Don't forget"/ "Back to December...Also, the next chapter will be a suggestion from Music4ever1617 :)

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR or the song.**

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**_I'm in the business of misery_

_Let's take it from the top_

_She's got a body like an hour glass_

_That's tickin' like a clock_

_It's a matter of time_

_Before we all run out_

_When I thought he was mine_

_She caught him by the mouth_

I bit down on his bottom lip as he watched Kendall and Jo. I knew I could never compare to Jo. For one thing, she's a girl...oh, and she has a perfect body (Kendall's words, not mine). Anyways, I absolutely couldn't stand Jo Taylor right now. It had been one week ago...I was going to tell Kendall how I felt...But then Jo showed up, all ready for her date with him.

_I waited eight long months_

_She finally set him free_

_I told him I can't lie_

_He was the only one for me_

_Two weeks and we had caught on fire_

_She's got it out for me_

_But I wear the biggest smile_

~Eight months later~

Kendall wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me closer. He and Jo had broken up two weeks ago. Kendall had come to me when it happened. He told me, Jo had said they had broken up because things were becoming too difficult with Jett and the show or something...Hu, if you want my opinion, I think she was lying; but getting back on topic; That was same day I told Kendall, that he was the only one I could ever love; that he was the only one for me.

"Logan?"

I pulled myself back into reality at the sound of Kendall's voice. "Yeah, Kendall?"

"I'm gonna run downstairs to grab a smoothie, you want one?" He asked again.

"Um, sure."

Kendall gave me a quick peck on the forehead before heading towards the door. "I'll be back in a sec." Once the door was closed, I jumped to my feet and walked over to the window. I bit back a smirk when I spotted Jo. When she spotted me, her eyes instantly narrowed. Man, did that girl have it out for me. My smile widened. I mouthed the words, 'hate all you want, but Kendall is mine.'

_Whoa_

_I never meant to brag_

_But I got him where I want him now_

_Whoa _

_It was never my intention to brag_

_To steal it all away from you now_

_But god does it feel so good_

_Cuz I got him where I want him now_

_Cuz if you could then you know you would_

'_Cause god it just feels so..._

_It just feels so good..._

Winking at her, I turned away from the window. I headed over to my laptop, and logged on to Twitter. Almost everyone at the Palmwoods had responded to my tweet, 'Hey everyone, guess who I'm dating? Kendall Knight! So back off! You try anything, and I'm coming after you with a hockey stick! Ha, I'm just kidding...but seriously, he's mine now.'

What? I wanted to make sure everyone knew. Maybe, I was just getting off my sugar high when I tweeted it, but that's a different story. Now, I know the way I've been going at all of this, it makes it sound like I just wanted to make Jo miserable, however I could never do something like that...at least not on purpose I couldn't. But somehow, it just felt refreshing to know that my pleasure was her frustration...I know it makes me sound like a horrible person, but that's what she did to me eight months ago, right?

_Second chances_

_They don't ever matter_

_People never change_

_Once a whore_

_You're nothin' more_

_I'm sorry that will never change_

_And about forgiveness_

_We're both to have exchanged_

_I'm sorry honey_

_But I'm passin' up_

_Now look this way_

I jumped when my I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out to see that I had received a new text. _Hey, I got the smoothies, meet me at the pool-K_. A smile creped it's way onto my face. I turned my laptop off and walk over to the door and opened it. As I strolled down the hall to the elevator, I rounded a corner to bump into a startled Jo.

"Oh, sorry..." I apologized in a low voice.

Jo gave an annoyed sigh, "Whatever, just watch where you're going next time..." The blonde girl glanced around. "Where's Kendall?"

"I was just going to meet him at the pool." _Please don't come, please don't come..._

"I'll come along with you then."

_Shoot. _Silently, we both enter the elevator. I didn't dare look at her, although I was pretty sure Jo had her gaze bored into me. Was she waiting for me to apologize again or something? If that was the case, then Jo would be staring for the rest of her life.

_Well there's a million other girls _

_Who do it just like you _

_Looking as innocent as possible to get to who_

_They want and what they like_

_It's easy if you do it right_

_Well I refuse, I refuse, I refuse!_

When we had finally reached the bottom floor, I nearly bolted out the elevator. I skidded to a halt when I spotted a flock of fan girls groveling for Kendall's attention. Now, unlike Jo had done many times, I wouldn't give him a hard time about this. Sure, I was angry, but I knew Kendall couldn't help it. I wouldn't be like all those other boyfriends or girlfriends who immediately accuse their partner of cheating on them. There are also those who have to act all innocent to get their lovers attention. It's ridiculous, but I see fan girls and many others do it every day. I refuse to be that kind of boyfriend.

_Whoa_

_I never meant to brag_

_But I got him where I want him now_

_Whoa _

_It was never my intention to brag_

_To steal it all away from you now_

_But god does it feel so good_

_Cuz I got him where I want him now_

_Cuz if you could then you know you would_

'_Cause god it just feels so..._

_It just feels so good..._

When Kendall spotted me, he smiled and gently shouldered past the group of girls. He was holding two smoothies in his hands. "Here you go," He exclaimed, handing me the blue one.

"Thanks Kenny." I made sure Jo was close by when I gave Kendall a passionate kiss. I snickered slightly when I saw her cross her arms. I was pretty sure she was about ready to barge in between us, when Camille bounded over.

"Hey guys," She chirped acknowledging us. Camille glanced from me, to Kendall, to Jo. "Are still gonna practice for my audition?" She asked the blonde haired girl.

"Sure..." Jo nodded her head. "I'll meet you in Palmwoods Park."

Kendall turned to me. "I'm gonna run back up to the apartment to grab something okay?" He said as he handed me his smoothie.

I raised an eyebrow curiously. "What do you need to-"

He cut me off with a quick kiss. "I'll be right back Logie." Once Kendall was out of earshot, Jo glared at me.

"I just don't get it," She hissed. "How can he be dating you?"

I shrugged. "What?" The smirk was returning to my lips. "Don't tell me you're jealous." I didn't even wait for her to respond. "I mean, _you_ were the one who broke up with him."

Jo stiffened. "It was for the best!" She snapped defensively.

I placed the smoothies down on a nearby table. "For the best?" I nearly spat out. "Are you sure you didn't dump him for Jett?" She began to defend herself again, but I raised I hand to silent her.

_I watched his wildest dreams come true_

_Not one of them involving you_

_Just watch my wildest dreams come true_

_Not one of them involving..._

"You know, I stood by Kendall's side through everything, while you treated him like just another guy," I went on in disgust. _I watched all of his craziest, wildest dreams come true, and did any involve you? _I would've said those words aloud...I couldn't be that cruel...except, I would say this, "Jo, you just sit back and watch my wildest dreams come true; you won't be there, but Kendall will. It'll be me, Kendall, James, Carlos, Katie, Mrs. Knight, Camille, Gustavo, and Kelly...You hear your name in the listing?"

_Whoa_

_I never meant to brag_

_But I got him where I want him now_

_Whoa_

_I never meant to brag_

_But I got him where I want him now_

Before she can respond, Kendall appears from around the corner with his guitar slung over his shoulder. "I'm back Logie," He says in a sing-song voice. As if we are one, both Kendall and I sit down by the table our smoothies have been placed.

I hesitantly look up. I find that Jo is no longer here. I catch sight of her, um...strutting towards Palmwoods Park. Kendall takes a sip of his smoothie before strumming a few notes.

I suppress a small laugh and begin singing a few notes of the song, "Whoa, it was never my intention to brag, to steal it all away from you now, but god does it feel so good; 'Cause I got him where I want him now, and if you could then you know you would; 'Cause god it just feels so...it just feels so good..."

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**Whattya think? Good? Bad? Plz review and read! Oh, and if any of you have suggestions/requests too, I'll take them :) **


	4. srry, just an author plz read

'**Sup people! So, I am going to show you the current order of my songfics:**

**Don't Forget- Demi Lavato (check) **

**Back to December-Taylor Swift (check)**

**Misery Business-Paramore (checkers!)**

**He said She said- Ashley Tisdale (Music4ever1617 request)**

**Firework- Katy Perry (MS. SpazChixk5388 request)**

**You're the Reason- Victoria Justice (Jarlos)**

**Every time we Touch- Cascada**

**My Happy Ending- Avril Lavigne (The story behind "Don't Forget" and "Back to December") **

**Yeah, so that's basically where the songfics stand right now, but um, there will be more, and I will keep updating that list ;) **

** Oh, and be sure to check out my story "Falling Into Darkness" and "The Disreputable History of Logan Mitchell" when you get the chance =D**


	5. He said, She said

**Here it is, "He Said She Said," requested by Music4ever1617 =D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR or the song.**

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**_Boy walk in the spot_

_He's so fresh and (uh-huh)_

_He go what he needs to impressin' (uh-huh)_

_Just look at the way that he dressin'_

_Ain't no question_

_Chicks like oh_

Logan Mitchell lay on his back, staring up at the sky from his pool chair. The brunette suddenly realized that the whole pool had gone completely silent. Logan sat up, instantly spotting Kendall and Jo; the new 'power couple' of the Palmwoods. It killed him, but Logan had to admit they made a stunning pair. Jealousy prickled within the small boy. He watched both teens carefully. Kendall was wearing black jeans and the dark blue jacket Jo had gotten him for his last birthday. It wasn't Kendall's style, but Logan found himself very attracted to the taller boy in this moment.

_Girl walkin' the spot_

_She stop traffic (uh-huh)_

_She's blowin' your mind with her asset (uh-huh)_

_So Jessica Alba fantastic_

_Instant classic _

_Boys like oh_

His gaze moves to Jo. Everyone's eyes were cast enviously on her. _What makes her so special?_ Logan wondered miserably. Jo was wearing a light-red tank top, and pale yellow short-shorts. In a way she reminded Logan of Jessica Alba...perfect; another thing to add to Jo's never-ending list of ways for Kendall to want her.

_Baby I can see us movin' like that (like that)_

_Baby I can see us touchin' like that (like that)_

_Baby I can see us kissin' like that (like that)_

_We don't need no more that he said she said_

_Baby I can see us movin' like that (like that)_

_Baby I can see us touchin' like that (like that)_

_Baby I can see us kissin' like that (like that)_

_We don't need no more that he said she said_

Logan got to his feet and darted behind the wall of the V.I.P area of the pool. He forced himself to keep quiet when Kendall and Jo stopped in front. Logan feels like throwing up when they embrace and engage in a passionate kiss. The brunette sinks further down the wall, his eyes slowly close. Logan opens his eyes again to prevent another wet dream. The last time he had one it was during harmonizing and Gustavo had yelled at him for an hour.

Instead Logan finds himself being pulled into a daydream; he wasn't exactly sleeping, but he wasn't awake either.

_"Logan!" Kendall calls. The brunette is sitting on his bed doing homework. Kendall walks into their shared room. "I've been looking for you," He exclaims as he sits next to the smaller boy. _

_Logan puts his books aside. "Yeah, what is it?" _

_Dark red hue comes to the blonde's cheeks. "There's something I've been meaning to tell you," Kendall begins. _

_Logan's heart flutters. "Y-yes, what is it?"_

"Logan? Logan!"

The brunette jumps to his feet. "CARLOS!" Logan snaps. "What do you want?"

Carlos shrinks back slightly. "I just wanted to know it I could borrow your hockey stick," He mutters.

Logan rolls his eyes in annoyance. "Sure, whatever."

Carlos puts his head on one side; a skeptical look coming across his face. "Is something up?" He asks.

Logan shakes his head slowly. "No...No, nothing wrong, I'm fine," the brunette lies.

The smaller boy shrugs. "Well, you know where I'll be, see ya!" Carlos slaps on his helmet and bounds away, but quickly runs back to Logan's side. "Kendall and Jo are here?" He shrugs. "Jo posted on skuttlebutter that they were at Palmwoods Park." On that note, Carlos get's back up and runs off.

Logan sighs, and peeks over the wall slightly. He is disgusted. Kendall and Jo are still making out. _How can they hold their breath that long?_ He wonders.

_He said_

_Girl you winnin'_

_She said_

_Boy where you've been at?_

_Stop talkin' let's get with it_

_Just like that they_

_He said_

_You're amazin'_

_She said_

_Then why you waitin?_

_No more deliberatin' _

_What you doin' let's get to it_

_Just like that they_

Logan ducks back down when they pull apart. "You're definitely the only girl I'd ever want to be with." Kendall whispers to her.

_I think I'm gonna be sick! _Logan has to bite down on is tongue to keep the words from slipping out.

"Where have you been all my life?" A smirk comes to Jo's face.

The two blondes' press closer. "Have I ever told you how amazing you are?" Kendall's voice can barley be heard now.

Jo exclaims, "Then what are you waiting for?" She closes the small space between them.

Logan is so furious with jealousy, he is sure steam will start coming out of him any second now. The smart boy forces himself to keep quiet until Jo finally says, "I have to go film something for the show, but I'll be back soon, kay?"

"Do you really have to go?" Kendall sighs. Jo gives him a quick peck on the lips before heading back inside. Logan rolls his eyes, and slowly begins to rise to his feet. "Hey, Logan," Kendall exclaims. The brunette nearly jumps up in surprise.

"Oh God, Kendall! Don't do that!" It takes Logan a while to catch his breath. The blonde chuckles. He stretches which makes his muscles ripple. Logan bites back the urge to lick his lips. "You going inside?" The smaller boy manages to choke out.

Kendall nods. "Yeah, you going in too?"

Logan says in a slightly cracking voice, "Uh, huh...I actually wanted to talk to you." Kendall shrugs as the two walk back to apartment 2J.

_Boy actin' as if there's no pressure_

_He do everything to get with her_

_He do anything to convince her_

_Money spent to _

_Diamonds send her_

Logan closed the apartment door behind them. "So, I just wanted to talk to you about..." His voice trails off when he sees the distant look in Kendall's green eyes. "Hey, are you feeling alright?" Logan asks.

Kendall shakes his head. "No...I mean, yes. Yes, I'm fine."

Logan raises an eyebrow. "Really?" Kendall nods. The smaller boy sighs and grabs his friend by the arm. Logan drags Kendall over to the couch and they both sit down. "Kendall...what's up?"

The blonde leans back into the dark orange cushions. "I-It's Jo," He finally says.

_Of course. _Logan sits next to Kendall. "What about Jo?" Logan tries to sound as calm as possible.

"I-I feel her slipping away sometimes..." Kendall turns to face the smart boy, "You know how that feels?"

_Yes...all the time..._ "You could say that," Logan sighs; a slight edge to his ton.

"I care about her so much..." Kendall hesitates, "I'd do anything to convince her to stay with me." The blonde searches for something on his phone. He shows Logan a picture that ahs been recently uploaded to Jo's profile page. She is with Megan, and Camille. They do not look like they are on the set of "Newtown High."

_Girl playin' it cool_

_But she's with it_

_She lovin' the fact that she's gifted_

_Everything that he do_

_She get's lifted_

_Feels so wicked _

_Lovin' like oh_

Logan bites down hard on his bottom lip. "Kendall, I-"

He is cut of by the sound of Kendall's ring ton. The blonde glances down at the caller-ID. "It's Jo, I gotta take this," He murmurs.

"I thought you said you'd be filming," Kendall exclaims.

Logan can just barley hear Jo on the other line, "Well, Megan called and told me our scene was bumped, so she invited Camille and I to hand out."

"Is that Kendall? Ask him if we can come with you guys to the club tonight," Megan says in the background.

Logan leans closer to hear better. "Club? Jo, we're going to a movie and dinner," Kendall is visibly frustrated.

"Really? Oh...okay, but I already told everyone; oh well." It all seems like news to Jo.

Kendall closes his eyes for a split second. "See you soon."

Logan can almost see Jo's smile. "Love you," She exclaims.

Kendall nods, "Love you too." The blonde hangs up.

Logan's heart feels like stone.

_Baby I can see us movin' like that (like that)_

_Baby I can see us touchin' like that (like that)_

_Baby I can see us kissin' like that (like that)_

_We don't need no more that he said she said_

_Baby I can see us movin' like that (like that)_

_Baby I can see us touchin' like that (like that)_

_Baby I can see us kissin' like that (like that)_

_We don't need no more that he said she said_

Kendall puts his head on one side. Skeptical, he questions, "Logie? What's wrong? What was it that you wanted to tell me?"

Hearing his own nickname nearly throws Logan over the edge. _Come on Logan, stay calm. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. _"I think I'm in love," He finally manage to choke out.

Kendall's eyes lighten up. "Wow, that's great Logie! Who is it? Camille? Peggy? Jo told me you and Peggy went on another date."

_No...Stupid Jo, we were studying..._Logan pretends to be observer the floor. "It's someone I've known for a long time..."

Kendall thinks for a moment. "What does she look like?"

She. Logan winces. "Kendall..." The brunette locks gazes with the taller boy. "It's not a girl," Logan mutters.

"Oh..." Kendall is silent for the longest time.

_You can do this Logan! Just tell him how you feel! _"It's y-you," Logan stutters.

_He said_

_Girl you winnin'_

_She said_

_Boy where you've been at?_

_Stop talkin' let's get with it_

_Just like that they_

_He said_

_You're amazin'_

_She said_

_Then why you waitin?_

_No more deliberatin' _

_What you doin' let's get to it_

_Just like that they_

Kendall jumps to his feet. "W-what? When did you start feeling this way?" He demands.

Logan slowly stands up. "Ever since we first met," He explains.

Kendall runs a hand through his hair. "Logan, why didn't you ever tell me?" He snaps.

Logan flinched. "I was afraid of what you would think," the smaller boy says.

Kendall paces back and forth. "Jo; she's the one I love...or am supposed to love..." The taller boy rubs his eyes. "Agh, what am I saying?" Kendall begins to head to the door.

Logan quickly grabs Kendall by the arm. "Kendall, please wait!"

Kendall hesitates. "Fine, what is it?" the blonde wills himself to sit back down with Logan.

_One night with you_

_Boy just one night with you_

_All the things we could do_

_Everyday I think of_

_One night with you_

_No one else but us two_

_All our dreams would come true_

_If we'd just get together_

Kendall's arms are crossed over his chest. He is waiting for Logan to speak. "This is exactly why I didn't want to tell you," Logan fights the tears that are threatening to escape. "I knew this was how you were going to react..." the brunette forces himself to continue; "Now you hate me..." Logan chokes on the words.

Logan is startled when he is suddenly pulled into a hug. He feels Kendall's hand run up and down his back. "I don't hate you Logan," Kendall whispers softly. They face each other again. "I wasn't expecting you to say that...I always thought you were straight."

"Because you're straight?" Logan's voice flooded with hurt. Before Kendall can say anything, Logan blurts out, "I just don't get it! Jo she just-Kendall, do you know everything she says, hmm? When you two were at the pool; Carlos told me Jo said you two were at Palmwoods Park, and that whole ting with the club!"

_Baby I can see us movin' like that (like that)_

_Baby I can see us touchin' like that (like that)_

_Baby I can see us kissin' like that (like that)_

_We don't need no more that he said she said_

_Baby I can see us movin' like that (like that)_

_Baby I can see us touchin' like that (like that)_

_Baby I can see us kissin' like that (like that)_

_We don't need no more that he said she said_

_What you waitin' for? _

Kendall raises a hand to silence Logan's rant. "What are you saying?"

Logan bites down on his bottom lip again. "I'm saying; you _don't _need to deal with all this 'he said, she said,' stuff...You're much better than that; don't try to tell me it hasn't stressed you out."

Kendall shoulders past Logan and walks to the window. He stares out it. Thinks. Can't bring himself to speak. Can't bring himself to face Logan or Jo.

_He said_

_Girl you winnin'_

_She said_

_Boy where you've been at?_

_Stop talkin' let's get with it_

_Just like that they_

_He said_

_You're amazin'_

_She said_

_Then why you waitin?_

_No more deliberatin' _

_What you doin' let's get to it_

_Just like that they_

_Give it to me baby!_

Logan has pulled himself together again. He comes to stand by Kendall. "I'm sorry," the smaller boy says; his voice barley audible.

Still looking out the window; Kendall says, "Why? You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I'm sorry I put you in this situation..." Logan turns to face Kendall. "If I truly cared about you...I would've just let you go on with your life being the wonderful person I know you to be."

Kendall's heartbeat quickens. The blonde steps closer to Logan. "Really?"

Logan nods, thinks, _this may be it!_ Then, Logan's phone rings,

_You're gonna like it_

_You're gonna want it_

_You're gonna like it_

_We don't need no more that he said she said_

_You're gonna like it (yeah)_

_You're gonna want it (you're gonna want it)_

_You're gonna like it (yeah, yeah)_

_We don't need no more that he said she said_

Logan does not answer, or call back.

* * *

**Finally finished it! I reallly hope it wasn't suckish ;D**

**Next up is "Firework," requested by, MS. SpazChick5388 =)**


	6. Firework

**Hey guys! **

**Kendall: Hi.**

**What the-how did you get here?**

**Kendall: The back door was unlocked.**

**O.O**

**Logan: What's up?**

**Oh, would you two get out of here!**

**Kendall/Logan: …..**

***Throws book* Get out!**

**Kendall: You could've hit one of us in the head!**

**I try. **

**Logan: Let's just go downstairs.**

**Kendall: *Smiles* okay. **

**Yeah, go; go on, leave me to type. *Kendall and Logan walk out***

**Okay, now that they're gone...*hears noises* Oh crap. *Walks over to the top of the stairs* **

**HEY! NO FUNNY BUISNESS; TAKE YOUR SICK GAME SOMEWHERE ELSE! **

**Kendall/Logan: O-o *Start to walk out***

**Wait! *Throws camera* I want pictures.**

**Haha, okay; now that, that's taken cared of; I can get to MS. SpazChick5538's request! Here it is; "Firework!" **

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR or the song.**

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_Do you ever feel_

_Like a plastic bag_

_Drifting through the wind_

_Wanting to start again_

_Do you ever feel_

_Feel so paper thin_

_Like a house of cards_

_One blow from cavin' in_

_Do you ever feel_

_Already buried deep_

_Six feet under screams _

_But no one seems to hear a thing_

Logan brings his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. Logan stares out at the orange splattered sky. The small boy can feel the rooftop's cold cement through his jeans.

A cool afternoon breeze blows against his face. Logan's heart feels light. He feels like he could collapse at any moment.

Logan hears people laughing. The brunette gets to his feet and walks to the edge of the roof. He sees people dancing down at the pool. The lights have begun flashing even brighter now that the sun is setting. He wasn't invited to that party.

"It's because I'm untalented...and ugly...and a geek…" Logan rants on himself. "No one wants to hang out with a loser like me..." He says in a whisper.

A tear slides down his cheek.

"Why can't I be perfect?" Logan asks to no one in particular. He feels the breeze again. Logan feels like he has been buried alive though. Every time he sees them.

James, Carlos, Jo, Camille, the Jenifers.

Kendall.

Every time he sees them he feels like someone is burying him. It puts pressure on him.

On his heart.

On his spirit.

Logan feels like screaming. But who would hear him? Who would help him?

_Do you know that there's_

_Still a chance for you_

'_Cause there's a spark in you_

_You just gotta ignite _

_The light_

_And let it shine_

_Just own _

_The night_

_Like the 4th of July_

Kendall looks around. _Where the heck is Logan? _He wonders. _Didn't he get the invite? _

Kendall walks up to Jo who is laughing with Annie and Camille. "Jo! Jo, have you seen Logan?"

"No, why would I?" Jo nods at her two friends signaling for them to go. She crosses her arms when they are out of earshot.

"What do you mean? You invited him right?"

Jo grins and laughs. "Oh, Kendall." She steps closer for a kiss, but Kendall backs up. "Kendall, listen; this party is for...how do I say this? This party is for talented, popular kids only."

Kendall stiffens. "Jo...what are you-"

Jo sighs a little too loudly. "Kendall, you have to admit; Logan's not that talented." She lays a hand on his shoulder.

"What?" Kendall shrugs her shoulder away. "Did you tell him that?"

Jo glances away for a moment. "I, Kendall..." She turns and glares at him. "He deserves to know the truth."

Kendall shook his head in disbelief. "You're not the person I thought you were, are you?" Others have stopped to hear now. "Y-yeah...yeah, you're manipulative, and only care about yourself? When was the last time you considered my feelings on anything?" Kendall voice is cold."You know what Jo Taylor? We are OVER!"

"You can't dump me!" She spat.

Kendall gave her one last glance. "Watch me." Kendall ran. Ran out of sight. "Logan? Logan, where are you!" He calls.

Then. He knows where the smaller boy could be.

'_Cause baby you're a firework_

_Come on_

_Show'em what you're worth_

_Make'em go_

_Oh, oh, oh_

_As you shoot across the sky-y-y_

_Baby you're a firework_

_Come on let your colors burst_

_Make'em go_

_Oh, oh, oh_

_You're gonna leave'em all in_

_Oh, oh, oh_

Logan backs away from the edge of the roof. Thinking he could do it. He would do it.

Would he be missed?

Probably not.

He can't even win over to one person he ever truly loved.

"Logan!"

Logan turns abruptly to see Kendall. "Kendall? What are you doing here?"

The blonde walks over to Logan. "You were about to jump...what were you thinking?"

"I was NOT!" But he knows he would have. Logan can feel them. He can feel the tears threaten to spill.

Kendall pulls Logan into a hug. "...Why? Logan, you do know; death is forever. You can't take it back."

Logan can't fight it anymore. Tears. They leave wet trails down his cheeks. "Because I'm untalented...Unloved by anyone."

When they pull away, Kendall locks his green gaze with Logan's dark brown one. "You're one of the most talented people I've ever met." They both sit down again. "And I can think of countless people who love you."

Logan wipes his eyes with the back of his sleeve. "Really?" He sniffs.

Kendall feels like crying too. Over the thought of Logan making that jump. Over the thought that Logan thinks this way about himself. "T-there's my mom, Katie, James, Carlos, Camille, Kelly, your parents, our fans..." Kendall tilts Logan's chin so their eyes lock again. "A-and...And me."

_You don't have to feel_

_Like wasted space_

_You're original_

_Cannot be replaced_

_If you only knew_

_What the future holds_

_After a hurricane_

_Comes a rainbow_

Logan blinks. "Y-you really mean that?"

Kendall nods. "Logan; you may feel like your just a wasted space...but you're original, amazing...no one could ever replace you." Kendall scoots closer. "Things may not seem right now...I know though...You're future will be bright..."

_Maybe a reason why_

_All the doors are closed_

_So you could open one_

_That leads you to the perfect road_

_Like a lightning bolt_

_Your heart will glow_

_And when it's time you'll know_

_You just gotta ignite _

_The light_

_And let it shine_

_Just own _

_The night_

_Like the 4th of July_

Kendall puts his arm around Logan's shoulder. "You have something special...you've just got to open a door and find it...You've got something that no one I know has...you have true talent...you've just gotta let your heart glow; and release that talent." Logan feels like crying again. Not from sorrow or pity. From the fact that no one had ever said anything that kind to him. Kendall pulls Logan closer. "Logan?"

"Y-yeah?" The brunette chokes out.

There is hardly any space between them."I love you." Kendall closes the space.

'_Cause baby you're a firework_

_Come on_

_Show'em what you're worth_

_Make'em go_

_Oh, oh, oh_

_As you shoot across the sky-y-y_

_Baby you're a firework_

_Come on let your colors burst_

_Make'em go_

_Oh, oh, oh_

_You're gonna leave'em all in_

_Oh, oh, oh_

When air was finally needed; they pulled away. Kendall gently wiped away a remaining tear from Logan's cheek with his thumb. "I meant everything I said," He says softly.

Logan leans into the blonde. "Kendall?"

"Yeah, Logie?"

The smaller boy smiles. "I love you too."

Kendall grins and gets to his feet. He grabs Logan's hand and pulls him up. "Come on." Kendall drags Logan back down to the lobby.

"Wait; where are we going?"

Kendall stops in front of the pool. Glances around before pulling Logan to the newly built stage.

The stage that everyone had to practically beg Bitters to install.

Kendall is glad he did. The blonde jumps onto the stage. Logan follows uneasily behind. "What are we doing up here?" He demands nervously.

Kendall grabs the microphone off the stand and walks over to each end of the stage to turn the speakers on. He covers the mic with one hand and whispers to Logan, "You'll see."

_Boom, boom, boom_

_Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon_

_It's always been inside of you, you, you_

_And now it's time to let it through..._

Kendall takes his hand away from the microphone. "Attention, everyone! Attention!" The music stops. Everyone stops and turn to Kendall. "I'm sure you all know Logan."

Logan pulls a half smile. "Uh, hi?"

Kendall announces, "Well, he will be singing for us tonight."

Logan's face turns pale. "Wait. What?"

'_Cause baby you're a firework_

_Come on_

_Show'em what you're worth_

_Make'em go_

_Oh, oh, oh_

_As you shoot across the sky-y-y_

_Baby you're a firework_

_Come on let your colors burst_

_Make'em go_

_Oh, oh, oh_

_You're gonna leave'em all in_

_Oh, oh, oh_

Then Kendall kisses him in front of everyone. They both ignore the whispers. He says into Logan's ear, "You're a firework and don't forget it; knock'em dead."

Logan takes a deep breath as Kendall steps off the stage.

_Boom, boom, boom_

_Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon_

_Boom, boom, boom_

_Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon_

The party ended at 1:55. Everyone congratulated Logan on a job well done as they headed back to their rooms.

Logan and Kendall are sitting on the stage; their legs dangling over the edge. The brunette sighed and rested his head on Kendall's shoulder. "I can't believe you made me do that," He says with a chuckle.

Kendall wraps an arm around the smaller boy's waist. "You were great; everybody loved it..."

Logan looked up. "Thanks, Kendy." After a minute passes, he hesitantly asks, "So are we like...are we boyfriends now?"

Kendall kissed his forehead. "Um...let me think about it..." Their lips meet. The taller boy pulls away. "Does that answer your question?"

* * *

**Phew, finally I finished it! =D **

**Hope it's good :) **

**Next up, "You're the Reason why"**


	7. You're the Reason

Okay, so I know what the title to this fanfic is, but I just wanted to write this little Jarlos story.

**I will warn you; it is very fluffy. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR or the song.**

****

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**

_I don't wanna make a scene_

_I don't wanna let you down_

_I try to do my own thing_

_And I'm startin' to figure it out_

_That it's alright _

_Keep it together_

_Wherever we go_

_And it's alright_

_Oh well whatever_

_Everybody needs to know _

When he's performing on stage, James is taken back to the school talent show where he sung in front of a large group of people for the first time. It had been back when the boys were only 13. James remembered being nervous. But he pulled through...Was it for a girl? His family?

Nope. It was for his best friend, Carlos. Carlos had been the one who helped James practice after school. He had been the one to encourage James to even enter the talent show. James would've made quite an embarrassment of himself that night if Carlos hadn't been in the audience. Seeing him, James knew he couldn't let the smaller boy down by throwing away everything that had brought him to the stage. Now, since that day, James knows wherever he goes; Logan, Kendall...Carlos will be there for him... be there to urge him on.

_You might be crazy_

_Have I told you lately?_

_That I love you_

_You're the only reason that I'm not afraid to fly_

_And it's crazy_

_How someone could change me_

_And no matter what it is I have to do_

_I'm not afraid to try_

_And you need to know that you're the reason..._

_Why... _

James smiled as he watched Carlos make a fool of himself in front of the Jenifers. He couldn't help thinking to himself, _Could I ask for a better best friend? Maybe even more than a friend? _James sighed, as he prompted himself up with his elbow.

Carlos was too good to be true. Or, at least to James he was. Carlos _had _been the only one who could truly give the taller boy courage...courage to take a chance?

The courage to follow his dreams?

James hadn't been as ambitious as he was now. It was all thanks to Carlos' encouragement.

_I don't even care when they say_

_You're a little bit off_

_Look'em in the eye I'd say_

_I can never get enough_

_Cuz it's alright _

_Keep it together_

_Wherever we go _

_And it's alright_

_Oh well whatever_

_Everybody needs to know _

"James? Hey, James!"

James jumped at the sound of Rachel's voice. "Hu? Yeah, Rach?" She exchanged a glance with the other Palmwoods kids who had joined them.

"We were saying, don't you think Carlos can be..." Rachel glanced over at the smaller boy. "Don't you think he can be a little, I don't know; off, sometimes?" For a few moments, James's hazel eyes bore into her.

"You may think that...But I could never get enough," James exclaimed, rising to his feet.

_You might be crazy_

_Have I told you lately?_

_That I love you_

_You're the only reason that I'm not afraid to fly_

_And it's crazy_

_How someone could change me_

_And no matter what it is I have to do_

_I'm not afraid to try_

_And you need to know that you're the reason..._

_Why... _

"Um, where are you going?" Rachel demanded, exchanging awkward glances with the others.

"To talk to Carlos...There's something I've been meaning to tell him," James replies as he starts to walk away. _Come on James! It's now or never! _"Hey, Carlos," The taller boy tapped his friend on the shoulder.

"I'll be right back ladies," Carlos turned away from the Jenifers. "What's up?"

"Can we talk in private?" James asked in a soft voice. Carlos nodded as the brunette grabbed him by the arm, and pulled him into the lobby.

"What did you want to tell me?" Carlos asks.

James takes in a deep breath. "Thank you," He says.

"Um, you're welcome? Thanks for what?"

They both sit down on a couch. "Thank you for giving me the courage to do what I love," James answers quietly.

Carlos' dark brown gaze flickers. "I...what? What do you mean?"

James can't stop himself. Words are bubbling to the surface. "I never used to be able to perform in front of people. Carlos, you helped me get over that...you helped me practice a-and everything!" James runs and through his hair. "You're the reason why Carlos...you're the reason I'm following my dreams."

A smile comes to the smaller boy's face. "I really didn't-I was always happy to help you out...you're my best friend and all-"

"I love you," James chokes out.

Carlos bites down on his bottom lip. There is an unreadable expression in his eyes. James sighs. _Crap, I knew that was a bad idea! _He thinks. "F-feel free to say something," James stutters.

"I-I..." Carlos coughs to clear his throat. "I think...I love you too."

_If it was rainin' you would yell at the sun_

_Pick up the pieces when the damage is done_

_You say it's just another day in the shade_

_Look at what a mess we made..._

Before James can respond or react; a cry is heard from the pool. "Hey!" It's Rachel. "It's raining?"

Everyone rushes to get inside. Carlos glances at James and smiles again. Takes the taller boy's hand and leads him outside. It is lightly drizzling. "What are we doing out here?" James questions. "It might start pouring!"

"Oh, come on!" Carlos exclaims. "It'll just be another day in the shade!" He interlocks their fingers. "Besides; I wanted to do this..." Their lips meet in a soft kiss.

_You might be crazy_

_Have I told you lately?_

_That I love you_

_You're the only reason that I'm not afraid to fly_

_And it's crazy_

_How someone could change me_

_And no matter what it is I have to do_

_I'm not afraid to try_

The rain is coming down harder now. Neither of the boys care though. When they finally pull away, both of them are soaked wet.

"How about we go inside and dry off...then maybe we can just hang out together," James says.

Carlos nods. "I'd love that." They are still holding hands as they head back to apartment 2J.

_You might be crazy_

_Have I told you lately?_

_That I love you_

_You're the only reason that I'm not afraid to fly_

_And it's crazy_

_How someone could change me_

_And no matter what it is I have to do_

_I'm not afraid to try_

_And you need to know that you're the reason why..._

_

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_**Okay, so that whole rain thing was extremely random...oh well. I'm just gonna completely forget the order of the list now, because that was kinda stupid.**

**So, next I'll be doing a song request for alexrocks502 :)**


	8. Cosmic Love

**Alright, here's alexrocks502 request, "Cosmic Love." **

**Enjoy =D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR or the song. **

**

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**_A falling star_

_Fell from your heart _

_And landed in my eyes_

_I screamed aloud_

_As it tore through them_

_And now it's left me blind_

Kendall Knight stared out at the darkened sky. Rain poured down and lightning crackled in the air. A single tear slides down his cheek.

"What's wrong Kendall?" Logan asks as he walks over to the blonde.

Kendall forces himself to face Logan. "I-It's you...we, I..."

Logan's soft brown eyes are expectant. "Yes? What happened?"

The taller boy takes a deep, shuttering breath. "I-I think...no, I know..." Kendall shakes his head to clear it. "Logie, I love you." The expression on Logan's face does not change. Kendall feels more tears come to his eyes. "But y-you're-"

"I'm what?" Logan questions gently as he slides closer to Kendall.

The blonde boy can barley get the words out. They are choking him. "Y-you're…you're dead." Kendall turns away as his body is raked with sobs. When he looks up again; Logan is gone.

_The stars_

_The moon_

_They have all been blown out_

_You left_

_Me in _

_The dark_

_I'm always in this twilight_

_In the shadow _

_Of your heart_

Kendall closes his eyes; letting himself be consumed in darkness for a moment. Did it even matter though?  
Ever since Logan died, every waking moment for Kendall was in the dark. Everyday Kendall felt like he was in the shadow of his lover's heart.

Night was no better. It was like the smaller boy's death was the moon's cue to no longer illuminate the night and stars to no longer shine.

_And in the dark_

_I can hear your heartbeat_

_I tried _

_To find_

_The sound_

"Oh, Logan..." Kendall sighs to himself. Logan's heartbeat thuds in his head. It echo's loudly in his mind.

Kendall tried so hard to find that heartbeat when Logan was dying.

_But then_

_It stopped_

_And I was in the darkness_

_So darkness I became..._

Kendall remembered it so clearly. Logan's heartbeat slowed until it stopped completely. His eyes had gone cold and lifeless. Kendall hated himself for not being able to help him...to save him.

Logan truly had been his other half.

But now...his other half was gone; and Kendall felt like he would forever be consumed in darkness.

So that's how he accepted it.

_The stars_

_The moon_

_They have all been blown out_

_You left_

_Me in _

_The dark_

_No dawn_

_No day_

_I'm always in this twilight_

_In the shadow of your heart_

Everyone grieved over Logan. But no one did as much as Kendall, who had completely isolated himself.

With their fourth member gone and their leader unwillingly to move on; Big Time Rush faded.

_I took the stars from my eyes_

_And then I made a map_

_And I knew that somehow_

_I could find my way back_

_Then I heard your heart beating_

_You were in the darkness too_

_So I stayed in the darkness with you_

They would move back to Minnesota. Not that it would help in any emotional way. The memories burned even brighter there.

Katie walked into the room that Kendall had once shared with Logan. "It's going to get better," She assured her brother as he packed.

When he doesn't respond; Katie sighs and leaves the room.

Although her words still linger in his mind; Kendall cannot bring himself to believe them.

Things just seemed to fall apart when he was gone.

And in Kendall's mind; they would never be fixed.

_The stars_

_The moon_

_They have all been blown out_

_You left_

_Me in _

_The dark_

_No dawn_

_No day_

_I'm always in this twilight_

_In the shadow of your heart_

_The stars_

_The moon_

_They have all been blown out_

_You left_

_Me in _

_The dark_

_No dawn_

_No day_

_I'm always in this twilight_

_In the shadow of your heart..._

_

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_**Sorry if it was short; oh and if you were wondering what happened exactly; Logan got into a car accident.**

**This was like; wow. Much sadder than "Don't forget" and "Back to December" in my opinion. **

**So I'll be doing "Happy Ending" next and it'll be about Kendall and Logan's 'little' fight that was mentioned in the first two chapters. **


	9. My Happy Ending

**Hi! This songfic tells the story behind "Don't forget" and "Back to December." So, here ya go =D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR or the song. **

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__Oh, oh..._

_So much for my happy ending..._

_Oh, oh..._

_So much for my happy ending'..._

_Oh, oh, oh..._

Logan Mitchell and Kendall Knight had been dating for months now.

In secret. They both knew they'd eventually have to come out.

Both had already told James, Carlos, Katie, and Mrs. Knight.

Big Time Rush was scheduled to do a live interview for MTV. Kendall and Logan had decided to reveal the truth there. Maybe-they thought- it would all be fine; everyone would accept it.

Their other friends at the Palmwoods would still hang out with them. Their fans would still love them.

Those thoughts didn't seem to comfort either boy. Logan took in shaky breaths as they sat in the back of the limo. Kendall carefully slings an arm around the brunette's shoulder. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to," he says softly.

Logan closes his eyes and leans into Kendall's touch for a split second. "N-no...No. I want to do this," the smaller boy says.

"Are you two okay?" James asks from across.

Kendall removes his arm from Logan's shoulder. "We're fine...we just...just didn't get enough sleep," the blonde boy mutters.

Carlos narrows his eyes. "Sure, okay; we believe that," he jokes.

Logan stiffens when the limo pulls to a stop. _It'll be okay. I'll be okay. We'll be okay! _Logan thinks to himself.

The four boys step out of the limo to be greeted by the flash of cameras and the cold December air. It all becomes a blur.

They speak.

The shouting begins. So do the insults.

_Let's talk this over_

_It's not like we're dead_

_Was it something I did?_

_Was it something you said?_

_Don't leave me hangin'_

_In a city so dead _

_Held up so high_

_On such a breakable thread_

_(Breakable thread)_

_You were _

_All the things I though I knew_

_And I thought we could be..._

Three days pass. Kendall hasn't spoken to Logan.

When they are alone in the apartment one evening; Logan decides to confront him. "Kendall; we need to talk!" He exclaims as he enters their shared room. Kendall pretends not to hear Logan and continues to play his guitar. "Kendall! Seriously; we need to talk about this!" The brunette snaps.

Kendall sighs and lays his guitar down next to him. "What is there to talk about?" He demands in a startlingly harsh voice.

"Why are you acting like nothing happened?" Logan challenges. "You never even bothered standing up for me when people would-"

"Shut up about your stupid problems!" Kendall snapped.

Logan flinches. "My problems?" Anger rises within him. "This is _our _problem! We're supposed to be dealing with this _together_!"

_You were everything, everything_

_That I wanted_

_We were meant to be_

_Supposed to be_

_But we lost it_

_All of the memories so close to me_

_Just fade away..._

_All this time you were pretending_

_So much for my happy ending..._

_Oh, oh..._

_So much for my happy ending..._

_Oh, oh..._

Kendall gets to his feet. "I'm done!" The blonde spat.

"Done? What do you mean?" Logan asks; his voice flat.

Kendall shakes his head. "I'm done with _us! _Don't you see it? This never would have happened if weren't together!"

Logan feels his heart go cold. He feels everything they once had collapse around him. He feels tears come to his eyes. Logan forces them away. "You're kidding? Kendall, you can't be serious!"

Kendall looks away. "W-well, I am!"

_You've go you're dumb friends_

_I know what they say_

_(I know what they say)_

_They tell you I'm difficult_

_But so are they..._

_(But so are they...)_

_But they don't know me_

_Do they even know you?_

_All the things you hide from me_

_All the shit that you do... _

_(All the shit that you do...)_

Logan can't fight the tears any more. "You never really loved me did you?"

Kendall turns back; his eyes wide. "How can you think that?"

The brunette gives an annoyed sigh. "I should've known something was up when I saw you with Jo last month..." his eyes water. "I should've known you still had feelings for her."

"Don't give me that!" Kendall begins pacing around the room. "You know we had to have covers!"

Logan shakes his head. "You weren't pretending with her Kendall!"

_You were everything, everything_

_That I wanted_

_We were meant to be_

_Supposed to be_

_But we lost it_

_All of the memories so close to me_

_Just fade away..._

_All this time you were pretending_

_So much for my happy ending..._

Kendall stopped pacing and glared at Logan. Before he can speak; the smaller boy continues, "You were everything I ever wanted..." Logan steps forward until they are eye-to-eye. "I _know _you never cared about me."

"SHUT UP!" Kendall shouts again. "You know this- our relationship was stupid Logan! Don't you see it's ruined our lives?"

"I HATE you!"

Before Logan knew what had happened; he was on the ground. His cheek throbbed painfully. Kendall let a gasp escape. "L-Logan! I-I'm so sorry!"

Logan held his cheek with one hand. "Bye Kendall...forever."

_It's nice to know that you were there_

_Thanks for actin' like you cared_

_And makin' me feel like_

_I was the only one_

_It's nice to know we had it all_

_Thanks for watchin' as I fall _

_And lettin' me know we were done..._

It was midnight; and Logan was lying on the couch sobbing. He pulled out his cell phone. "D-dad," He says. "I-I want to come home..."

There is silence on the other end. "Catch the quickest flight to Minnesota; I'll be in the airport to pick you up," Mr. Mitchell finally responds.

Logan nods into the phone. "Thanks dad." The brunette slowly rises to his feet and heads back to his and Kendall's room.

Kendall is not in his bed.

Logan doesn't even care where he is. He just begins to pack his things. Logan knows he can't say goodbye. It would be too hard. He'll just leave a note or something.

Logan thinks Kendall could've told him the truth sooner. To spare his feelings...sure acting like he cared was...Logan stops himself. He knows he needs to forget about it.

_He was everything, everything_

_That I wanted_

_We were meant to be_

_Supposed to be_

_But we lost it_

_All of the memories so close to me_

_Just fade away..._

_All this time you were pretending_

_So much for my happy ending..._

Logan leans his head against the airplane window. Mrs. Knight had dropped him off at L.A.X.

Logan was thankful she didn't ask about the still purplish bruise. He told her to tell everyone what had happened and where he was.

He also told her to tell them not to worry. Or come after him.

_You were everything, everything_

_That I wanted_

_We were meant to be_

_Supposed to be_

_But we lost it_

_All of the memories so close to me_

_Just fade away..._

_All this time you were pretending_

_So much for my happy ending..._

It's been about year now. Logan lives everyday with a broken heart. He is back to studying medicine. He is back to all they left to become Big Time Rush.

One morning; Logan goes to get the mail. He searches through it.

Junk mail.

Bills.

A letter. From Kendall.

Logan bites his bottom lip. Walks over and sits on the bottom step to his house. He sets the other mail aside and opens the letter.

_Oh, oh..._

_So much for my happy ending..._

_Oh, oh..._

_So much for my happy ending..._

_Oh, oh, oh, oh…._

_

* * *

_**So, there it is; their argument. **

**As of right now; here are some upcoming songfics and their descriptions.**

."**Sober" P!nk (request) – Things haven't been going right. Logan has been different and no one has noticed it as much as Kendall. So, what exactly is going on?**

."**Face of Love" Miranda Cosgrove (suggestion) - an already developed Kogan; Kendall wants to come up with a way to tell/show Logan how much he loves him. **

."**High Maintenance" Miranda Cosgrove – taking place in the real world; Logan Henderson goes out of town so he can film something and leaves the keys to his house in LA with Kendall Schmidt. **

***Warning: This fanfic may make Kendall Schmidt and Dustin Belt seem like total jerks***

."**Every time we touch" Cascada – Another Jarlos songfic; Carlos and James are together at last; but when everyone else in the world challenges their love, they must pull through. **

**. "1, 2, 3, 4" Plain White T's - an AU one-shot; Kendall is tutored by Logan and suddenly asks what 'I love you' means in a bunch of different languages. Will Logan get the message?**


	10. How do you love Someone

**I'm sad. And angry... mostly sad :'( our poor boys...BUT! They will ALWAYS be winners in our minds =D**

**This is for Man-Suz-she =) I hope it's okay that I'm doing the other suggestion/request instead of "Sober" (this song was easier for me to do).**

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR or the song.**

* * *

_Mama never told me how to love_

_Daddy never told me how to feel_

_Mama never told me how to touch_

_Daddy never showed me how to heal_

_Mama never set a good example_

_Daddy never held mama's hands_

_Mama found everything hard to handle_

_Daddy never stood up like a man_

Logan Mitchell feels tears come to his eyes. His boyfriend, Kendall Knight, examines him with great concern.

"Logie? What's wrong?" Kendall asks, wrapping an arm around Logan's waist to pull him closer.

Logan shakes his head and stands up quickly. "We have to end us!" The brunette cries.

The taller boy rises to his feet. "W-what are you talking about?"

"We just can't do this!" Logan screams. "_I _can't do this!"

He runs past Kendall.

Out the door.

He runs out of the Palmwoods.

And into the streets of LA.

Logan had never felt the way he had with Kendall. Not even when he was with Camille. Logan knew it was wrong though...being with his best friend.

Or did he?

Logan never knew what love was. He didn't know how to feel, or when to feel it. At least, until he met Kendall.

But was it even love that he felt then? Logan wasn't sure. That was why he broke up with Kendall. The night before, Kendall had told Logan he loved him.

Love.

It had always been foreign to Logan.

_I walked around_

_Broken_

_Emotionally frozen_

_Getting it on_

_Getting it wrong_

Logan slows to a walk. He shivered as wishes he had a jacket. The brunette sighs and breathes out.

He feels frozen inside. His heart feels like stone.

Logan knew nothing. Absolutely nothing about being in a relationship with someone. He _had _failed to keep Camille.

He knew that he had lost her twice. First when she and James kissed, then when Logan had tried to get her back; but she was with a guy named Steve.

"I just can't get it right," Logan says in a whisper.

_How do you love someone?_

_Without getting hurt..._

_How do love someone?_

_Without crawling in the dirt..._

_So far in my life_

_Clouds have blocked the sun_

_How do you love..._

_How do you love someone? _

_How do you love..._

_How do you love someone? _

But Camille wasn't the first person who Logan had failed with.

There was his first girlfriend, Lena Collins. Logan thought he could make something of them. He thought she could be the one he was looking for.

He was wrong.

Lena had used him. Used him so she could get back together with her ex. Lena told Logan that she, nor anyone else would ever love him.

Logan was heartbroken that day. He knew he messed up. The sun did not shine that day. Logan was virtually trapped in a world where the clouds blocked the light.

_I was always the chosen child_

_Their biggest scandal I became_

_They told me I'd never survive_

_But survival's my middle name_

Logan stands with his back against a wall of an alleyway. He slides down until he is sitting down. He runs a hand though his short dark hair. His face is wet from crying.

"What's wrong with me," Logan sobs.

He wanted to be stronger. Not physically. Emotionally. So stronger he became.

Logan got over Lena. He remained isolated from love as often as possible.

_I walked around_

_Hoping_

_Just barley coping_

_Getting it on_

_Getting it wrong_

The day is leaving and night had begun to rise. It casts shadows on streets. Logan can just here sirens in the distance.

He instantly knows they are police. They are searching for him. Logan doesn't care. He thinks, _so what if they find me?_

_How do you love someone?_

_Without getting hurt..._

_How do love someone?_

_Without crawling in the dirt..._

_So far in my life_

_Clouds have blocked the sun_

_How do you love..._

_How do you love someone? _

_How do you love..._

_How do you love someone? _

Logan sees the flash of lights again.

Hears his name being called.

"Logie? Logie, where are you?" The voice belongs to Kendall. Logan bites his bottom lip as he starts to cry again. Then...Kendall is at his side. "There you are; I was worried."

Logan is embraced in the blonde's arms. He looks up into those beautiful green eyes and sees that Kendall has been crying as well.

Kendall pulls the smaller boy to his chest and buries his face in the crook of Logan's neck.

"Why did you come searching for me?" Logan chokes to get the question out. "I'm nothing special...I'm _not _worth it."

_It's hard to talk…_

_To say what's deep inside_

_It's hard to tell_

_The truth_

_When you've always lied_

Kendall moves back. "How can you say that?"

Logan knows why he's saying what he has.

Because of Lena.

And Camille.

And the very fact that Logan cannot be loved.

How can someone who doesn't know love, be loved?

Logan shakes his head and stares at the ground. He is unable to look Kendall in the eyes. "I-I just...I can't..." Logan cried. "You have to understand that no one can love me! No one can be with me!"

_How do you love someone?_

_Without getting hurt..._

_How do love someone?_

_Without crawling in the dirt..._

_So far in my life_

_Clouds have blocked the sun_

_How do you love..._

_How do you love someone?_

_How do you love someone..._

_And make it last_

_How do you love someone..._

_Without trippin' on the past_

_So far in my life_

_Clouds have blocked the sun_

_How do you love..._

_How do you love someone?_

_How do you love..._

_How do you love someone?_

_Someone..._

Kendall cups Logan's cheek with one hand. "But...I love you," Kendall says in a gentle voice.

Logan sighs. His eyes close shut. "I'm sorry Kendall...It's just I...I can't..." He opens his eyes again.

Dark brown meets bright green.

Electricity sparks between the two as they share a breathtaking look. They are only centimeters apart.

Finally.

There lips meet in a heart-stopping kiss. Kendall wraps an arm around the back of Logan's neck to put more force on their lips.

Until…

They pull away and rest their foreheads together. "Let's go, everyone is worried about you," Kendall whispers. He takes Logan's hand and helps him up.

Kendall wraps an arm around the smaller boy's waist. Logan rests his head on the blonde's shoulder.

Logan breaths come out slowly.

He is thinking.

Wondering if he can really do this…do this without letting his scarring past romances tear him down.

Logan let's the questions flood through his mind as Kendall leads him into light.

* * *

**I'm still very depressed so, sorry if it's bad…ya know what, I'm gonna make a video for our BTR boys! Yup, that's what I'll do! C'mon people, let's show them some support =) **


	11. Face of Love

**Okayz, so since I'm going to be realllllly busy with everyone's requests and my own fics, I won't be taking new requests until later (the full list of songfics to come is at the bottom)**

**Here's "Face of Love" for alexrocks502 =D**

**Oh, and in this fanfic, it goes back and forth from Kendall to Logan. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR or the song**

* * *

_I'm ready for you now_

_I think my tongue's done waiting it out_

_It took awhile to get through_

_I've been awake and dreaming it true_

Kendall watched as his boyfriend glided across the ice and couldn't help but smile. He and Logan had been together for a year now, and tomorrow was their anniversary. Both boys had strong feelings for the other even before they announced their love. Kendall waited so long for that moment.

_With every_

_With every seam you sew in up my heart_

_With every thread you know you'll pull it apa-a-art _

_Look in the mirror and I see no scars_

_And everywhere I need you there you are_

Logan skated down the ice, guiding the puck with his hockey stick. The brunette tried hard to focus on the goal. This was difficult considering the fact his gorgeous boyfriend was goalie. So, Logan watched the puck move on the ice until he shot it into the goal, past Kendall.

"Yeah, I won!" Logan cheered.

Kendall skated over to him. "No fair, I wasn't paying attention!" The blonde protested.

Logan rolls his eyes. "Sure you were."

Kendall grins and wraps an arm around the smaller boy's shoulder. He leans down and kisses Logan's cheek. "I love you," Kendall says softly.

"I know," the smaller boy said. Logan looks up into Kendall's bright green eyes. "I love you too."

_Somethin' in your eyes _

_I recognize it baby_

_Could you be the face (face)..._

_Of love..._

_Everythin' is perfect when the light is right_

_So turn and see the face..._

_Of love_

After playing a few more hockey games, Logan and Kendall headed home. They were now settled on the Kendall's bed. Logan is lying down, his head resting in the blonde's lap.

The taller boy ran his hand through Logan's dark hair. Kendall wants to do something special for their anniversary. "Soooo, any special plans for tomorrow?" Logan asks.

Kendall shrugs and looks down at Logan. "You'll see," He answers; but to be completely honest, he has no idea what he's going to do.

So, once Logan is asleep, Kendall sneaks out of their shared bed and into Carlos' and James' room.

"James! Carlos! Wake up!" He says in a flat whisper.

Carlos groaned, "What do you want Kendall?"

"Yeah, it's 11:55!" James added.

Kendall closed the door behind him. "I don't know what I'm going to do for our anniversary tomorrow!"

James and Carlos both jump out of their beds and run up to face Kendall. "You haven't planned your anniversary yet?" They both gasp in unison.

The blonde makes waving gestures with his hands and fiercely shushes them. "Yes, now can you guys please tell me what to do?"

"Why? He's not our boyfriend," Carlos points out.

Kendall gives them a threatening glare. James blinks, startled. "W-well, think about what Logan likes...and...Build off from there?"

"You're supposed to be a master at love!" Kendall snaps. "Don't you have any better ideas?"

James crosses his arms. "Well then!" He huffed.

"Okay, okay, we'll help," Carlos says with a yawn.

Kendall grins. "Thanks guys, this means a lot!"

_Oh we see, eye, eye, eye to eye_

_I hear it from your mouth_

_Uh, oh _

_Pullin' back the curtain_

_Now it's startin' to look certain_

_You're the face..._

_Of love_

Logan yawned as he awoke. He immediately noticed that Kendall was no longer at his side. Logan wonders where his boyfriend could be. It was their anniversary today, and the brunette wanted nothing more than to spend time with Kendall.

He quickly showered before throwing on a pair of jeans and one of Kendall's plaid shirts. Logan walked out into the living room and spotted Katie watching TV. "Hey Katie, have you seen Kendall?"

She shook her head. "Nope, haven't seen him."

Logan raised both eyebrows. "Really?"  
"Really."

The brunette sighed and walked over to the kitchen counter where his laptop rested. A note was taped to the screen.

_Hi Logie! Today is going to be great, I promise! Meet me in Palmwoods Park okay? Love you! _

_Kendall_

Logan smiled. He glanced over at Katie again. "Do you know about this?" Logan questioned.

Katie bit back a smirk. She shrugged and said, "Nope, I knew _nothing _about that." Logan chuckled and headed for the door.

_I'm makin' for you now_

_Needed a minute_

_To figure it out_

_I'm lookin' straight out through the window_

_Don't wanna blink_

_Might miss the signal_

Kendall paced as he waited in Palmwoods Park, his fingers lightly bleeding from the thorns on the rose he held.

"What's wrong?" James called from a nearby bush.

Kendall looked around cautiously before walking towards the bush. "Nothing! I-it's just I don't know if this'll be good enough!"

Carlos popped his head up. "Oh come on! You know Logan, he'll want something simple."

"Yeah, but what if-"

"He's coming!" James interrupted, standing up and leaning forward slightly to shove Kendall forward.

The blonde cast one last glance over at James and Carlos as they disappeared behind the bush.

"Hi Lo," Kendall greets as he brings Logan in for a sweet kiss.

When they pull away Logan takes the rose and says, "What was it you wanted me to be here for?"

Kendall took Logan's hand and interlocks their fingers. He leads the smaller boy over to a laid out blanket. As a matter-o-fact, the set-up just happened to be 'coincidentally' near James' and Carlos' bush.

Logan loved picnics.

As they eat, Kendall says, "This is just the beginning Logie, I'm going to make sure this is the best anniversary ever!"

"I can't wait." Logan's smile widened.

_With every_

_With every seam you sew in up my heart_

_With every thread you know you'll pull it apa-a-art _

_Look in the mirror and I see no scars_

_And everywhere I need you there you are_

After their picnic, Kendall took Logan for a drive through LA to a secret location that the blonde refused to reveal to his boyfriend.

"C'mon Kendall, can you _please _tell me where we're going?" Logan begged.

But Kendall just shook his head. "Sorry Lo, you'll just have to wait and see," he said smugly.

Logan rolls his eyes and focuses on the sights that pass him by. He loved Kendall but to be honest; the anticipation was going to eat him alive.

_Somethin' in your eyes _

_I recognize it baby_

_Could you be the face (face)..._

_Of love..._

_Everythin' is perfect when the light is right_

_So turn and see the face..._

_Of love_

Kendall hoped everything would turn out as planned. With all the thoughts flowing though his head, Kendall found it hard to focus on the road. Not to mention the beautiful boy sitting in the passenger seat.

Then, his cell phone rang. It was the song "Grow up" by, Simple Plan...Kendall's ring ton for Carlos.

"Crap," Kendall mutters under his breath. In a much louder voice, he says, "Hey, Logie, can you put my cell phone on speaker?" Kendall removes one hand from the wheel and reaches into his pocket. He hands Logan his cell phone.

Logan sighs and takes the phone. "Hi Carlos," He murmurs after putting the cell phone on speaker.

"Oh, h-hey, Logan," Carlos' voice sounds nervous. "What are you two up to?"

Kendall spoke first. "Nothing much, just you know- heading down to a _secret location_ for a _special surprise_."

"Cool, I hope it'll be _ready _in time; if you know what I mean...because sometimes things aren't always _ready _when they need to be."

Logan raises an eyebrow. "Why are you two talking like that?" The brunette asks.

"No reason," Kendall bites back a grin. "See you later Carlos." On that note, Kendall reached over and hung up.

_Oh we see, eye, eye, eye to eye_

_I hear it from your mouth_

_Uh, oh _

_Pullin' back the curtain_

_Now it's startin' to look certain_

_You're the face..._

_Of love_

Logan was definitely suspicious about the short exchange on Kendall's cell phone. He would ask more questions about it, but thought it would be fair enough to just leave it be for. Logan took quick note that the day was ending quickly. He glances down at his watch. 1:30, it reads.

"Kendall, seriously; when are we going to-"

But the small boy's complain is cut off. "We're here," Kendall exclaims.

Logan glanced around. He takes in his surroundings. "Where are we?" Kendall does not answer. His blonde boyfriend only walks around to the other side of the car and helps him out.

There is a huge building. None of the lights are on. "Kendall, are you sure we should be here?" Logan questioned nervously.

For the second time, Kendall does not answer. He interlocks their fingers and guides Logan inside.

Once they enter, Logan sees nothing but an empty room illuminated in the candle light. There is a familiar couch in the middle of the room. A guitar rests on the cushions. Logan all of a sudden remembers this.

It was the blackout. The blackout that occurred when the boys were in eighth grade and in Minnesota. Logan was over Kendall's house, and the brunette had been terrified.

Kendall had sat down on the couch with Logan while Katie and Mrs. Knight sat in chairs around them. The blonde boy sung to pass the time.

Logan would always remember that moment as the day he knew Kendall would be his one, and only love.

_(La, la, la, la, la, la)_

_I see my best self..._

_In you_

_(La, la, la, la, la, la)_

_I see my best self..._

_In you_

Kendall smiled as he watched Logan's expression. Kendall led the smaller boy over to the couch. The blonde swings the guitar strap over his shoulder. Even though he already knows the answer, Kendall asks softly, "Only exception?" Logan nods and Kendall begins to strum the familiar notes.

As the two of them sing, Kendall's mind self-consciously wanders. He thinks about his and Logan's love. He thinks about how much of his best self is found in Logan. Kendall's smile widens. He loves this boy so much.

_Somethin' in your eyes _

_I recognize it baby_

_Could you be the face (face)..._

_Of love..._

_Everythin' is perfect when the light is right_

_So turn and see the face..._

_Of love_

_Oh we see, eye, eye, eye to eye_

_I hear it from your mouth_

_Uh, oh _

_Pullin' back the curtain_

_Now it's startin' to look certain_

_You're the face..._

_Of love_

When the song ends, the two boys lock gazes. Their eyes speak a thousand words. Their faces are only centimeters apart.

But Kendall sets his guitar aside and stands up; Logan rising up in front of him. "I'm guessing there's more to this?" The brunette guessed.

Kendall nods and leads Logan out back. There, a bonfire burns brightly, the fire crackles.

_I see my best self..._

_(Of love)_

_In you_

_I see my best self..._

_In you_

Kendall leads Logan down to the flames and they sit a few feet away from it.

"Thank you," Logan says quietly. "Today was amazing."

Kendall wraps an arm around Logan and pulls him close. He leans down and passionately kisses his boyfriend.

The loud boom of fireworks fills the air, startling the couple. "I love you," Logan says through laughter.

"I love you too Logie," Kendall sighs as they watch the explosion of color in the night sky.

* * *

**Okay, hope that wasn't too confusing! **

**Alright, so here is the list (I know I said no lists, but I was getting a little un-organized):**

"**If no one Will Listen" – Kelly Clarkson (for oheyyitzang)**

"**Amazing" – Janelle (for Kinda. My. Thing)**

"**Who Knew?" – P!nk (for Love and Peace Forever)**

"**Hero" – Enrique Iglesisas (for Love and Peace Forever and sequel to "Who knew?") **

"**High Maintenance" – Miranda Cosgrove (takes place in real life)**

"**Take a Bow" – Glee version (Installment to "Don't Forget" saga)**

"**Tell me that you love me" – Victoria Justice and Leon Thomas (Jarlos)**

"**1, 2, 3, 4" – Plain White 'T's (AU fanfic)**

**So as you can tell, I'm gonna be busy =D I'll let you guys know when I'll take requests again. **


	12. If no one will Listen

**Hi! I'm sorry for not updating this sooner!**

**This is for oheyyitzang =) this is Kendall's POV and its kinda an AU**

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR or the song.**

* * *

_Maybe no one told you_

_There is strength in your tears_

_And so you fight _

_To keep from pouring out_

_But what if you unlock the gate_

_That keeps your secret soul_

_Do you think that there's enough..._

_You might drown? _

It was searing pain. Watching them be so cruel to him. Logan was my friend and I wasn't doing anything to help him. Instead I just stood aside and watched as they tortured him in both emotional and physical ways.

I wanted so badly to step up for Logan. I wanted to tell him how amazing he was. How no matter what they all told him, that he would always be perfect.

I was going to tell Logan. That day after school...but he ran off after they tortured him again. I wanted to go after him. I _should _have gone after him.

But I didn't.

No one found Logan.

_If no one will listen_

_If you decide to speak_

_If no one is left_

_Standing after the bombs explode_

_If no one wants to look at you_

_For what you really are_

_I...will be here..._

_Still..._

Staring out at the storm thundering outside, I know I won't be getting out of bed today.

Logan's still missing.

Been missing for four days now. I know I should be one of the people searching tirelessly.

Tirelessly to find him.

I think I knew why Logan ran. Why he's probably dead...he tried to speak up…he tried to be heard; not just when he told them to quit being so terrible, but when Logan tried to just show everyone who he really was...that he showed at least a little potential.

They would never listen.

I would always. But what good did that do when I couldn't even defend him? I may not have defended him, but I would always be there. Why couldn't I at least tell him that?

_No one can tell you_

_Where you alone must go_

_There's no telling _

_What you find there_

_And god I know the fear_

_That eats away at your bones_

_Screaming every step_

"_Just stay here"_

It's a Saturday. My mom knows how I'm feeling. She doesn't try too hard to drag me out of my room. I come out once for dinner, but I don't stay long.

I lay in my bed, staring up at the ceiling as I wait for sleep.

I roll onto my side and stare out the window again. The rain subsided an hour ago. The half moon is shining in the dark sky; millions of stars are splattered around it. I get to my feet.

I'm doing this, and that's final. I grab a jacket from the end of my bed and put it on. I walk over to the window and open it.

I climb through it and land on the other side. The air is damp, and the breeze is still. As I slowly walk the streets, most of me is screaming to stay home, that it's useless, Logan is dead.

But my heart is telling me to keep searching.

To keep searching until I _know _he's dead.

_If no one will listen_

_If you decide to speak_

_If no one is left_

_Standing after the bombs explode_

_If no one wants to look at you_

_For what you really are_

_I...will be here..._

_Still... _

I think I know were I might be able to find him. I cut through a couple of backyards to reach a forest. As I walk through it, I feel as if I'm being plunged into darkness.

The moon's light is sliced through the trees, making it at least a little easier to see. An old oak tree stands in the center of a clearing. In it, is a long forgotten tree- house.

I climb up the ladder to reach the tree-house, hoping that I am right. I pull myself into the house and wait for a moment to catch my breath.

But it stops when I see something lying in the corner of the tree-house. I reach out a trembling hand and turn it over.

I feel like I've just stepped off a cliff and are falling uncontrollably.

_If you find your fists are raw and red_

_From beating yourself down_

_If your legs have given out_

_Under the weight_

_If you find that you've been settling _

_For a world of gray_

_So you wouldn't have to face down_

_Your own hate_

This couldn't be happening...a human can survive up to a few days without water, and a week or two without food.

Maybe he was just asleep...I checked for a pulse. My heart skips beat when I felt one. I didn't bring my cell phone so I wake him up.

"Logan," I give him a gently shake. "Wake up, it's me, Kendall."

Logan does not respond.

Sighing, I try again. "Come on Logan, wake up..." But then I ask myself, why am I even trying?

I slide over to the entrance of the tree-house. I sit and stare into the illuminated sky, thinking: I've indirectly killed my best friend.

If I had just spoken up for him sooner...

_If no one will listen_

_If you decide to speak_

_If no one is left_

_Standing after the bombs explode_

_If no one wants to look at you_

_For what you really are_

_I...will be here..._

_Still... _

What killed him, or how he really died was a mystery to us all. I didn't see any blood. I didn't find any proof that he killed himself.

Then what was it?

The thoughts buzz an echo through my mind. I should start heading home before my mom or Katie wake up.

I am about to climb down the ladder when I hear something. I turn back and see Logan move slightly.

"Kendall?"

I rushed over to his side. "Y-yeah, Logan?"

"What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

Logan sat up. "I think you know why."

"Yes...I think I do..."

He nods and mutters, "Okay, then why are _you _here?"

His gaze seemed to look straight through me as he waited for my answer. "To find you...everyone is worried," I reply.

"_Everyone? _Are you sure about that Kendall," Logan demanded, his voice flat.

"Okay, so maybe not _everyone_, but your parents, Carlos, James-"

"Do they really?"

I nodded. "They're still searching for you."

"But none of them ever thought to look here?" Slight anger began to rise in Logan's throat. "Well...that just shows how much they don't care...my parents...they never bothered to learn much about my personal life...I'm not even sure they knew about how the other kids at school treated me."

I sighed again. "I'm...so sorry, Logan."

"Don't be...I don't need anyone's sympathy."

I shook my head. "No, I'm sorry I didn't stand up for you, I know I should have, I was going to, but I don't know, I just...I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you when you needed me most."

We don't talk after that. We don't bother returning home either, but stay in the tree-house. When Logan falls asleep, I lean over. "I'll be here for you...I promise," I whisper.

_If no one will listen_

_If you decide to speak_

_If no one is left_

_Standing after the bombs explode_

_If no one wants to look at you_

_For what you really are_

_I...will be here..._

_Still... _

* * *

**Alright, here's a question for ya: Who is the song really referring to, Kendall or Logan?**

**Hope you guys liked it =)**

**Next up is "Amazing" by Janelle for Kinda. My. Thing **


	13. Amazing

**Alright, this is "Amazing" for Kinda. My. Thing =)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR or the song.**

* * *

_The morning cold and raining_

_Dark before the dawn could come_

_How long in twilight waiting_

_Longing for the rising sun_

_Ooohhh, ooohhh..._

"Come on, Logan it isn't going to be too bad," my dad said from the isle seat.

I didn't answer. "Sweetie, I know this is hard for you," my mom says gently. "But this job is very important to your father."

"Like I care..." I muttered, my gaze still refusing to leave the window.

My mom sighs. "Logan, it'll be difficult but things _will _get better."

No it won't. I'm leaving my friends. It was had enough fitting in when we first moved to Minnesota, now I have start all over again...but that wasn't the worst of it...

Because I was moving, Big Time Rush would go on as a trio, or...maybe they'd find a replacement like we tried to do when James went to Hawk...but James just _can't _be replaced, whereas I'm easily replaced.

_You came like crashing thunder_

_Breaking through these walls of stone_

_You came with wide eyed wonder_

_Into all this great unknown_

_Ooohhh, ooohhh..._

I know that's not why I'm upset about moving...I mean, I didn't even want to be in a band, I wanted to go to medical school.

Then why is the move so terrible?

I'll be leaving him...Kendall.

We just started dating a month ago, we promised each other that noting would separate us...the irony was almost too much to take.

_Hush now don't you be afraid_

_I promise you I'll always stay_

_I'll never be that far away_

_I'm right here with you_

My phone vibrates, I look down at the caller-ID and smile. I answer, "Hey, Kendall...how are things, you know…in LA."

"Without you? Torture," Kendall replied flatly.

I sighed. "Well...at least...we can still visit each other...?"

"I don't know...Florida is far away from LA and I'm still in Big Time Rush, and now that we're a trio, we'll be forced to work even harder," Kendall explained, frustration edging his voice. "How about your parents? Would they let you visit?"

"Not any time soon..." I quickly add, "But we still have video-chats, and cell phones."

"It won't be the same," Kendall pointed out.

"I know."

I wait a second or two before warning jokingly, "You better not go back out with Jo while I'm gone."

Kendall coughs to clear his throat. "I love you."

I smile sadly. "I love you too."

_You're so amazing_

_You shine like the stars_

_You're so amazing_

_The beauty you are_

_You came blazing_

_Right into my heart_

_You're so amazing_

_You are..._

_You are..._

"Logan, stop sitting on that computer and help us with these boxes," my mom ordered.

We arrived in Florida two days ago and were still moving into our new house. I closed my laptop and walked outside. I grabbed a few boxes and carried them into the house, and upstairs into my soon-to-be room.

Opening one of the boxes, I find mine and Kendall's memories. Everything from pictures to notes we passed each other during class, was found in this one box. I reached in and pulled out my iPod then a photo album from the bottom, and sat down on the wood floor.

I scroll through the playlist we put together which is now on both our iPods. I guess I'd sitting in there for a while because my dad came in and told me something about wasting time that could have been used to help unpack.

He told me that unless I wanted to sleep on the floor, I'd help him move my bed in. Sighing, I close the album and place it and my iPod back into the box. Even though I'd rather sleep on the floor then help move into a house I didn't want to be in, I knew I couldn't fight my dad anymore. We'd already had our share of arguments.

I can't seem to think though. I can't pay attention to what's going on in the real world. My mind wanders back to LA. Back to Big Time Rush. Back to Kendall.

_You came from heaven shining_

_Breath of God still fresh on you_

_The beating heart inside me_

_Crumbled at this one so new_

_Ooohhh, ooohhh..._

I look back out the car window, a mixture of both impatience and excitement bubble their way to the surface. It's spring vacation and my parents told me I could chose where we'd go. My answer was obvious of course.

It had been a month, we were moved in; I just thought it was time I visited. When the Palmwoods comes into view, I open the door and jump out, even though the car hadn't exactly come to a complete stop.

I rush into the lobby and instantly spot James and Carlos talking with each other. "Carlos, James!" I squeal, running over to them, we all embrace in a group hug.

"Logan, what are you doing here?" James asks after we break away from the hug.

"Not that we're not happy to see you," Carlos adds.

I shrug. "It's spring vacation, I wanted to surprise you guys." I glance around. "Soooo, where's Kendall?"

James' face pales and Carlos drops his gaze to the floor. Confused, I ask, "What? Is...something wrong?" When they don't answer, I ask again, "Where's Kendall?"

Carlos looks up. "Logan...we...don't know how to tell you this..."

"Kendall's dead," James finishes quickly.

My heart stopped. What? Surely I heard him wrong! "He's...dead?" I questioned in a trembling voice. "Why didn't anyone tell me?" I demanded.

James shook his head. "Logan, we just-"

I run into the elevator as it closes. I'm going to 2J. I won't believe them. Kendall knew I'd visit eventually, he _knew _everyone else needed him!

The elevator opens again and I head to 2J, and knock rapidly on the door. Katie opens it, her eyes red...she's been crying. "Katie," I begin. "Where's Kendall? James and Carlos said he was dead...but...that's just a joke right?"

She let's out a shakey breath. "No, Logan. It wasn't a joke, he's dead."

_No matter where how far you wander_

_For a thousand years or longer_

_I will always be there for you_

_Right here with you_

I suddenly feel like my legs could give way at any moment. "H-how? Why?"

"He killed himself," Katie explains, as she tries her best not to cry. "He just couldn't take it...being away from you."

"Kendall's death is _my _fault isn't it?" I demand icily.

Katie's eyes widen. "N-no, Logan don't blame yourself-"

"I should have called sooner! No-I should have tried harder to convince my parents not to move!" Before Katie can react or respond, I question again, "Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"We all agreed that it would be best for you."

Best for me? She's gotta be kidding! "How would that be best for me?"

Katie shook her head. "I don't...I don't know..."

I lean against the wall and wish I wasn't here. I take myself back to Minnesota. Back to the Minnesota before Big Time Rush.

That is the only place I feel safe now.

_You're so amazing_

_You shine like the stars_

_You're so amazing_

_The beauty you are_

_You came blazing_

_Right into my heart_

_You're so amazing_

_You are..._

Never has the wind been so still, the open air so silent. The sun conceals itself behind a heavy layer of clouds. I walk alone through the cemetery. I half hope not to find that one grave, while another part of me wants to...wants to see it, wants to see what everyone has told me.

Then I see it. So it's true. The fire is extinguished. The knight defeated in his last battle.

_I hope your tears are few and fast_

_I hope your dreams come true and at last_

_I hope you find love that goes_

_On and on and on and on and on _

_I hope you wish on every star_

_I hope you never fall to far_

_I hope this world can see_

_How wonderful you are_

However it happened...I hope it wasn't painful. I wouldn't know...I couldn't take the truth; whatever it was.

If afterlife does exist...I hope he finds someone...like Liz did in _Elsewhere_. What would Kendall's elsewhere be? Would it be, up, or all around? What new responsibilities would he have to take on? Could he watch the ones he left? I won't know, at least not for a long time.

_You're so amazing_

_You shine like the stars_

_You're so amazing_

_The beauty you are_

_You came blazing_

_Right into my heart_

_You're so amazing_

There will be those days when I'll ask myself, why do bad things always happen to good people? Don't they all say only good things happen to good people? The statement is often true...but in many cases, it is not.

Like what happened to me and Kendall. What happened to Big Time Rush afterwards. We were back to nobody's. Unlike all of our close calls, this time, Big Time Rush was truly, and clearly dead. Forever. Alongside Kendall.

I'm still in Florida...studying to become a doctor. Again. Only this time I have no one to support me. No one I trust.

The only thing that kept me together all this time was knowing Kendall wouldn't want be to go through life with regret and sorrow. If I didn't know it, I would have joined Kendall after I learned he was dead.

I would have surrendered to the unforgiving force of nature known as death.

But I didn't. I don't look back on this path I have taken. If anyone were to ask me about Big Time Rush, fame, the one in a million chance I had; I would tell them it's all behind me, a fading memory I didn't want to go back to. When they'd ask if I regretting being in a band, I couldn't lie. I'd say no. What's done is done, there's no undoing going to that audition.

Then I'd wonder, if we hadn't gone to that audition, would Kendall be alive? I suppose he would. Then I'd realize that so much would be different. We fell in love through Big Time Rush; we would have be friends and nothing more.

So, yes and no. Yes to keep Kendall alive, and no for the sake of our love. It can be looked at as another tragic Romeo&Juliet ending, or a forbidden love that was never granted its right.

I will grief at times, but that can't be helped. I'll remember...

Remember to keep shining.

To keep Kendall's fire blazing in the hearts of them all. And when those who used to know who we were, who he was; ask what he was, what made him so special; I'll have but only one word for them.

Amazing.

_You're so amazing_

_You shine like the stars_

_You're so amazing_

_The beauty you are_

_You came blazing_

_Right into my heart_

_You're so amazing_

_You are..._

* * *

**Well that was...really hard to write. Hope you liked it (Kinda. My. Thing) **

**So did you guys understand the metaphor about Kendall's 'fire?' **

**And the same question from last time, who is the dong referring to, Kendall or Logan?**

**Oh, and next will be "Who Knew?" for Love and Peace Forever =)**


	14. Who knew

**Hi guys! Here's "Who Knew" for Love and Peace Forever =)**

**BTW, sorry it took me so long to get this out! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR or the song.**

* * *

_You took my hand_

_You showed me how_

_You promised me_

_You'd be around_

_Uh huh_

_That's right_

_I took your words_

_And I believed_

_In everything_

_You said to me_

Lost.

That's all I was. Lost in the world that threatened to tear me down. I wanted to end my own suffering. To end my existence in the world...

My best friend saved me from doing so.

Kendall Knight showed me a much brighter path to take as appose to the one I had been wandering alone for so long.

I would always fear the day when Kendall and I had to go our separate ways. The fear grew stronger every day, and I think Kendall could tell something was wrong. So he made a promise.

He promised me that no matter what, he'd always be there for me.

I believed him. Then again, why wouldn't I? After the promise was made, we seemed to grow particularly close.

_If someone _

_Said three years from now_

_You'd be long gone_

_I'd stand up_

_And punch them out_

_Cause there all wrong_

_I know_

_Better_

_Cause you said forever_

_And ever_

_Who knew..._

Everything, everything was perfect; in balance, and perfect. Until that happened.

Until I started to doubt him just once. That's when it just about started to crumble beneath me.

Kendall, James, Carlos and I were sitting in our usual seats at the pool, when they walked up to us. Jett and 'Wayne-Wayne' (who is holding his backpack by one strap).

"Jett, _Wally_," Kendall greeted, finishing in a taunting way.

Wayne-Wayne growled in a low voice, "Hi Logan, James, Carlos...Ken_dork." _

Kendall rolls his eyes in response. "What do you two want?"

Jett shrugs and exchanges a glance with Wayne-Wayne. "Well, we made a bet...well, not really a bet seeing how we _know _it'll happen."

"What's _that _suppose to mean?" Carlos questions, sitting up.

"Okay, listen." Jett took a step closer. "Big Time Rush _won't _last," He says, a cruel chuckle escaping his throat.

James crosses his arms over his chest. "Says who?"

Wayne-Wayne laughs and gestures to himself and Jett. "We do!" He places his bag on the ground and pulls two things out of it. When I see what he's taken out, I am confused at first.

A CD and a year book.

"What are..." I begin slowly, but trail off as I examine the items closer.

The CD is more specifically from Boys in the Attic. The year book is more specifically (and more horrifyingly) _my _year book...from eighth grade.

"W-where did you get my year book?" I demand, trying hard to keep my voice even.

Both Jett and Wayne-Wayne ignore me. "First of all, as everyone knows, Boys in the Attic is _exactly _like Big Time Rush," Jett said, taking the CD from Wayne-Wayne. "Two or three years after they became famous, Gustavo abandoned them and now they are nobody's." He tosses the CD and I catch it. "That'll happen to you guys too."

I clench my fists and am I about to get ready for some heated defending, when I feel Kendall's hand placed warningly on my shoulder. "You and I both know Gustavo wouldn't do that to us," He whispered in my ear.

I sighed and nodded my head, but the relief washes away when I hear Carlos say, "Okay, then what about the year book?" He challenges, "You can't prove anything with a year book!"

The color washes from my face as Wayne-Wayne looks through my year book. "What's wrong?" Kendall asks in a hushed voice.

"That's _my_ year book," I hiss flatly.

"So? What's the big deal?"

The 'big deal' was, that I write things in my year books. I write things on specific peoples' pages and photos. That thing is like a journal to me...I realize now that this wasn't just about crushing our spirits on how BTR would turn out, this was about crushing _me_. I swallow hard and glance up at Kendall who has moved to my chair, and is now sitting behind me. I can't tell him. What's the point? He'll find out any second now…

"Ah, Logan," Jett grins as he notices my expression. "Yes, this is your year book, and you know what that means."

Wayne-Wayne smirked as he flipped the page. "Of course he does...let's see...ah-ha!" He turns the year book around so we see the writing and quotes, "Kendall Knight, my best friend-or could it be something more?"

I feel Kendall's hand leave my shoulder. I don't dare look back. I don't want to see his reaction.

Jett nodded, a smug look flickering in his eyes. He continued, "There's no possible way I can deny it; I want mine and Kendall's friendship to be something more! I don't know, but ever since I first met him, I felt sparks fly instantly. I never thought of myself as homosexual though; I just thought it was normal to feel that way around friends whom you are close to."

My eyes widen. I know what's coming next. I shake my head rapidly to cue them to stop. To tell them, 'that's enough!' But Wayne-Wayne and Jett finish in unison, "I guess I'm just in love with my best friend."

For the first time, I notice all the people who have gathered around to listen. All the people who now know my secret. "And you know what Logan," Jett sneers. "Just like Big Time Rush; _he'll_-" He nods towards Kendall, "Be gone too!"

Wayne-Wayne agreed, "Yeah, because who wants to be friends with someone who's-"

A surge of pure anger rushes through me and completely takes over. I jump up from seat, rip the year book out of Wayne-Wayne's hands, and I punch him with so much force, he falls backwards into the pool. Kendall, James, and Carlos jump to their feet and everyone around us start whispering with each other. Jett crouches down by the edge once Wayne-Wayne surfaces.

"What was that for?" Jett spat; turning to me.

I shake my head again. "You're wrong! Y-You're both wrong!" I step forward, ready to punch Jett as well, when a feel someone wrap their arms around my waist and pull me back down to the chair.

"Logie, calm down," Kendall whispered.

I struggle to free myself from his grip. "Let go, Kendall!" I hissed. "You're embarrassing us both!"

Kendall let's go and turns me around. "_I'm _embarrassing us?" He inquired.

Jett snapped, "Both of you shut up!"

Wayne-Wayne adds to me as he hangs on to the edge, "And you _know _we're right!"

I close my eyes and storm away.

_Remember when_

_We were such fools_

_And so convinced_

_And just too cool_

_Oh no_

_No, no_

That was three years ago. I shouldn't be lost in the past; I know this to be true, but with the way it ended so abruptly…I can't help but be thrown back in time to that day...

"Logan!" Kendall slipped into the elevator after me. "Logan, we _need _to talk."

"No we don't!"I spat, tuning so he was facing my back.

Kendall sighs. "Please Logan...I need to know if...to know if it's true."

I take in a frustrated breath and face him again. "Yes, Kendall; it's true, you're best friend is gay!" Before I let him respond, I snap, "Now if you want to completely disown me, then I'm completely _fine _with it!" Our gazes meet. "You have _nothing _to say to me!"

The elevator opened, and I step out and start walking to apartment 2J; still very aware of Kendall behind me.

"Logie, wait!"

I stopped and flinched at the sound of my nickname. I spin around on the heels of my feet. "I said you have _nothing _to say to me!" I repeated coldly before turning around and walking away again. I quickly unlock the door and enter the apartment, slamming it behind me.

"Logan-Logie!" Kendall called from the other side. "Please just let me in!"

I should. I know I should. I slowly open the door. "What?" I mutter.

He grabs my shoulders roughly with both hands and begins to lean down. "Wait-are you going to kiss me?" I demanded, shrugging his hands away.

Kendall blinks in surprise. "Y-yes; I just-"

"That's the cruelest joke someone has ever played on me!" I cough out.

Kendall's green eyes flickered. "Logan, it's not a joke!" He takes my hand in his and leads me to the couch. His gaze softens as he says, "Because...I love you too."

"No kidding..." I murmur, meeting his gaze again. "How can I be sure you mean that?"

Kendall moves closer until our foreheads are pressed together. Are lips meet in a soft kiss. I am the first of us to break it, and I can't look back into those eyes. I rise to my feet and walk to our shared room, locking the door behind me.

This time; Kendall doesn't bother coming after me...

I hate myself now for not believing him. I hate myself full-heartedly.

_I wish I could_

_Touch you again_

_I wish I could_

_Still call you friend_

_I'd give_

_Anything..._

I shouldn't let myself get pulled down. I have college to focus on...I'll be going back for my last year in a month...I wouldn't even be in college if Big Time Rush had stayed together.

Yup, we were definitely not a band anymore...my distrust in Kendall's word had caused a rift between us all, and I guess the opportunities we found urged us to break up the band.

When the producer of 'New Town High' offered James and Carlos main roles on the show, they both quit BTR to be apart of it.

Kendall, was offered that same hockey scholarship he had turned down back when we were trying to save our band. He took it this time...

I only saw him when I visited...then again; I didn't...really I avoided him at all cost...but, why?

Why had I chosen to crush our carefully built friendship into a million pieces? I know my heart aches to see him again, at least once. But would Kendall forgive me?

Forgive how I've been treating him?

_When someone said _

_Count your blessings now_

_For they're long gone_

_I guess I just didn't know how_

_I was all wrong_

_They knew_

_Better_

_But still you said forever_

_And ever_

_Who knew..._

_(Yeah, yeah) _

He won't...I just know he won't. Kendall meant what he said three years ago; I see that now...

But maybe...maybe he's still keeping his promise; maybe he'll speak with me, maybe he'll still want to be with me.

Then again, Jett and Wayne-Wayne were right...Big Time Rush ended and Kendall and I weren't talking to each other.

Still...Kendall promised me he'd be there for me...

_I'll keep you locked in my head_

_(My head)_

_Until we meet again _

_Until we_

_Until we meet again_

_And I won't forget you my friend_

_What happened..._

I wanted to try...because truthfully...I still loved him. Maybe I was just being delusional...I mean, who in their right mind would love someone who ignored them for three years?

Maybe my flaw was too much love. I loved Kendall to much to have others make fun of him for my emotions...

But I think it's time to erase it all from my mind. Perhaps after that happens, I can continue on with my life...I know I won't forget though. He'll always be in my mind and heart.

_When someone said _

_Three years from now_

_You'd be long gone_

_I'd stand up_

_And punch them out_

_Cause there all wrong_

_And..._

_That last kiss _

_I'll cherish _

_Until we meet again_

_And time makes_

_It harder_

_I wish I could remember_

_But I keep_

_Your memory _

_You visit me in my sleep_

I think, if only I was right. Right to say otherwise against Jett and Wayne-Wayne's theory. But I wasn't...and now look where it's all lead to.

I won't see him for quit some time I assume...but until the day we do, I'll forever cherish that last kiss...the kiss that would always mark the end of our friendship. Time would tell if we'd be together again...

To be completely honest; the wait was harder than you may think...I think my mind is subconsciously creating another Kendall I can be with in my dreams. Perhaps I am going crazy.

I have myself to blame.

Because, really? Who knew? I did. I knew it would happen if I walked away from him and from everything familiar to me.

And there was no going back.

_My darling_

_Who knew_

_My darling_

_My darling_

_Who knew_

_My darling_

_I miss you_

_My darling _

_Who knew..._

_Who knew..._

* * *

**So, I apologize if that was really cliché...**

**But anyways, the next chapter, "Hero" is going to be a sequel to this =) **


	15. Hero

**Like I said before, this is the sequel to "Who Knew" =D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR or the song.**

* * *

_Would you dance..._

_If I asked you to dance..._

_Would you run..._

_And never look back..._

_Would you cry..._

_If you saw me crying..._

_And would you save my soul..._

_Tonight..._

I slowly walk the dark streets of Minnesota until reaching Logan's house. The lights in his room are still on even though it's about 11:50. I guess that means he's visiting from college again. Every time Logan visits, he usually stays up all night to study. Then again, I wouldn't know for sure; he never sees me during these visits.

That just about marks the end of anything we did, or could have, had. Logan is being unreasonable. Couldn't he see how much I cared about him? Couldn't he see how I would do anything for him? I see how I'd have every right to just forget about it, to just let Logan go on ignoring me...but somehow...for some reason...I was still going to keep my promise; I always would.

Now if only Logan knew that.

If he did, would we have at least half a chance of being together? Or at least being friends again?

_Would you tremble..._

_If I touched your lips..._

_Would you laugh..._

_Oh, please tell me this..._

_Now would you die..._

_For the one you loved..._

_Hold me in your arms..._

_Tonight..._

By the time I return home, it's 2:30 in the morning. I should get some sleep...but...I collapse backwards onto the couch and grab my cell phone from the coffee table. I still have Logan's number.

I text: Hi, Logan ~K

It's simple. Just a simple 'hello,' and nothing more. An hour passes and no response.

Until he texts: Hey, Kendall ~L

It's as simple as my first text, but it makes my heart skip a beat when I see it.

You texted me back ~K, I respond.

Yes...I did, what do u want ~L

I flinch, almost hearing the edge to his ton.

Logan, I really did love u ~K

There is another pause that lasts about a half an hour.

Do u still? ~L

Yes! I always have! ~K

I feel time slow down as I wait for his response. I force my gaze to the digital wall clock. It reads: 4:20.

I text him again: Lo? Did u see the last txt? I said I still love u ~K

Sighing I take my cell phone and retreat to my room. Might as well sleep while I can.

_I can be your hero baby..._

_I can kiss away the pain..._

_I will stand by you forever..._

_You can take..._

_My breath away…_

I wake up at 7:15 in the morning and instinctively check my cell phone.

I can't be sure...not then, not now... ~L

Sighing again, I text back: Then how can I make you be sure? ~K

After taking a shower and changing into a t-shirt and sweat pants, I get another response.

Meet me in the auditorium 8:30 tonight; I do hope u still remember it ~L

Oh, yes. I remember it. Before Big Time Rush happened, Logan and I would always hang out after school in the auditorium of our school.

I'll be there ~K

_Would you swear..._

_That you'll always be mine..._

_Would you lie..._

_Would you run and hide..._

_Am I in too deep..._

_Have I lost my mind..._

_I don't care..._

_You're here tonight…_

8:30pm doesn't come quickly enough. I know I can't screw this chance up. This could be my only chance to have Logan again.

I sneak out more quietly this time. Last night, I was almost caught and I'm pretty sure my mom was suspicious of how tired I was throughout the day. Once I am sure no one will see, I run. Run like I'll miss him if I arrive late.

Being in my old high school is strange. In movies it's suppose to comforting. But truth be told, it's just the opposite. Every once and a while I'll see a blur of a memory when looking at certain places in the school.

A brunette boy being shoved against a locker by the school bullies. His blonde friend defending him.

The same two boys working a school project together in an empty science room.

The brunette and blonde boys' friends laughing and talking together in the cafeteria.

The memories all swirl around me until I reach the auditorium entrance. I open the door and see Logan sitting on the edge of the stage. My Logan; he's actually there.

_I can be your hero baby..._

_I can kiss away the pain..._

_I will stand by you forever..._

_You can take..._

_My breath away…_

I run down to Logan and embrace him in a hug. "I'm so glad you agreed to meet me here!" I exclaims.

"Kendall...I," Logan began, pulling away from me. "So have you really been willing to keep your promise all this time?"

"Yes! Logie-"

I am startled when he presses his lips to mine. The kiss only lasts about four seconds, but it was still there.

"What was that for?" I ask, biting back a smile.

Logan only answers by sobbing into my shoulder. I gently run my hand up and down his back in attempt to sooth him.

_Oh..._

_I just wanna hold you..._

_I just wanna hold you..._

_Am I in too deep..._

_Have I lost my mind..._

_I don't care..._

_You're here tonight…_

After a while, Logan pulled back; his brown eyes flickered. "Kendall, I'm so sorry."

"Its okay...I've always been there," I gently say as we both sit on the stage.

He let's a shakey breath escape as he leans his head against my shoulder. "Kendall..."

"Yes, Logan?"

Logan is quiet for another moment. "I...I love you."

My heart practically stops, and I feel tears of pure happiness come to my eyes. I lean down and passionately kiss him. My hands move to cup his cheeks. We pull away and rest our foreheads together.

"I love you too, Logie," I whisper, wrapping and arm around his waist. "I guess this means you believe me now?"

Logan smiles and leans into me. "Yes, I believe you."

We don't talk much after that. But things have begun to turn better than normal. Logan and I are planning on visiting LA one day. I'm sure James, Carlos, and everyone else we left behind will be happy to hear from us.

Suddenly...The future seems brighter again.

_I can be your hero baby..._

_I can kiss away the pain..._

_I will stand by you forever..._

_You can take..._

_My breath away…_

_I can be your hero baby..._

_I can kiss away the pain..._

_I will stand by you forever..._

_You can take..._

_My breath away…_

* * *

**Yay, happy ending! =D**

**So, I'll be writing two more Kogan fics ("High Maintenance" and "Take a Bow") before writing another Jarlos. **

**I know I said no more suggestions/requests for a while, but cookielover101 suggested a song that fits better for the Jarlos plot ("The only exception"), so I will be using that for the upcoming Jarlos songfic instead of "Tell me that you love me" **


	16. High Maintenance

**I apologize that I haven't updated this in a while...okay, so I said this chapter would make Kendall and Dbelt seem like jerks, but I'm gonna kinda switch it around, and Dbelt won't be involved in the songfic...well, it'll make more sense after you read =)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR or the song.**

* * *

_I can't sleep_

_I keep you up all night_

_I know sometimes _

_I get a bit uptight _

_So what if I break a few glasses_

_Kick a few asses _

_You know I'm worth it_

_(Here we go)_

Kendall Schmidt drove sleepily back to his home in LA. Maybe he _should_ have been driven by limo. But Kendall had insisted he could get there himself. He had been away to be a guest star on _Glee_. Kendall hadn't gotten any sleep because Logan Henderson constantly called him to ramble on about the awesome new episode they were filming for _Big Time Rush_. When Kendall would ask why Logan was calling him in the middle of the night, the brunette would simply answer that he was bored and couldn't fall asleep. If you asked Kendall, he would have said he thought his friend was high.

_I'm the color on your palette_

_The sweetness on your tongue _

_You know how to work_

_I know how to have fun_

Kendall finds it odd now, how Logan hasn't called, seeing how the brunette constantly did the past week. When he stopped to get gas for the car, Kendall speed dials Logan's number.

"Hey, Kindle," Logan greeted.

"Hi...is...everything okay?" Kendall asks. When Logan does not answer, Kendall says, "Did you here me Logan? Is everything okay?"

"What...oh, yeah; everything's okay..."

Frowning, Kendall questions, "Are you sure...you don't sound 'okay.'"

"Kendall, stop worrying, I _am _older than you."

"Sure, by one year; actually, we'd be the same age; legit, you're technically only three moths, and ten days older than me," Kendall points out smugly.

"Yeahhh, not really; see you soon, Kendall."

_All I want is everything_

_Does that make sense?_

_Does that make me..._

_High maintenance _

_I crashed your new Ferrari _

_Baby fix the dent _

_Does that make me..._

_High maintenance_

_No-o-o-o-o-o_

_I don't think so..._

Sighing, Kendall finishes filling the gas tank and heads off again, suddenly very worried. Was Logan hurt? Did something happen? Was his boyfriend hiding something? Kendall hoped it wasn't the first two, and was strangely almost sure it was the third.

Truth be told, Logan could be...difficult; high maintenance almost. Logan just seemed to be daring and that was that. But he could also be impulsive in many ways which made him annoying at times. Also, not to mention the very car Kendall was driving, was the one Logan had accidently crashed once. Thankfully Logan was okay, but had instructed Kendall to fix the dent _he _had caused.

Yup. Logan Henderson was definitely high maintenance.

_I went away_

_And left the key to my space_

_You had a big party_

_Your friend trashed the place_

_(Uh-huh)_

_The neck of my strap was_

_Broken in half 'cause _

_The dude thought he was_

_Van Halen _

_(Whoa)_

Logan had been entrusted with the keys to Kendall's house. Why didn't he just keep them with him? Logan and Kendall were dating in secret, and the blonde figured if anyone, he could trust his keys with his boyfriend.

Kendall pulls into his driveway and gets out. He knocks on the door. "Logie, I'm back!" The door slowly and gradually opens.

"Hey there, Kindle..." Logan half smiles and kisses the blonde's cheek before stepping back to block the way.

Kendall puts his head on one side, and crosses his arms over his chest. "Aren't you gonna let me in my own house."

Logan sighed and stepped back, "Go ahead..."

It took all Kendall had not to explode. The whole place was trashed! Empty plastic cups, paper napkins, and various other items and foods were scattered on the floor, tables, and countertops. Streamers littered the entire house, chairs were knocked over and the pictures on the wall were either tilted, or on the ground.

"What. Happened. In. Here," Kendall demanded, turning to Logan.

Logan starred at his feet. "I kinda...threw a party..." He admitted.

"Logan!"

"I'm sorry! But let me say, most of this was James' fault!"

Kendall raised both eyebrows. "Really, Logan?" He walks through his house and finds his guitar hidden behind the couch; the strap broken. "Who did this?" Kendall snaps, holding it up in Logan's viewing.

The shorter boy shrugged. "Carlos...I tried to warn him not to."

"Seriously! Who did he think he was, Van Halen!"

Logan shrugged again. "He's your friend too you know!"

"I know; but...Logan, how can you expect me to trust you again!" Kendall begins pacing.

_You always keep me waiting_

_You're on a random time_

_But you know the promoters_

_You never wait in line..._

Then everything spills out. "Logan, you know what; we're dating in secret, I know that, but that doesn't mean you can keep me waiting every single time I try to hang out with you!"

"Okay, one; I don't keep you waiting, not ever!" Logan corrected. "And, two; what does that even have to do with this?" He makes a gesture to the mess around him. Kendall rolls his eyes setting the guitar on a chair, and sitting on the couch.

_All I want is everything_

_Does that make sense?_

_Does that make me..._

_High maintenance _

_(Maintenance)_

_You crashed my new Ferrari_

_Then said _

_"Fix the dent"_

_Yes that makes you_

_High maintenance _

_Whoa-oh-o-o-o-o-o_

_I don't think so..._

Logan hesitates before sitting next to him. "Kendall...please..."

"You crashed my car, and made _me _fix it," Kendall reminded him.

The brunette stares at him in disbelief for a moment. "I was in the hospital!"

"Yes, but it would have be, I don't know, helpful if you had paid for the damage!"

"Kendall, we're famous, you and I both would have still had plenty of money," Logan points out.

"Know what Logan?" Kendall cuts in. "You're just high maintenance, and nothing else."

"I am _not_, 'high maintenance!'"

_Hey! Hey!_

_Just wanna have some fun_

_I said _

_Hey! Hey!_

_You're not the only one_

_I said_

_Hey! Hey!_

_I know some games that we could play-hey _

_Okay _

_Hey-hey!_

_(What's up...)_

"I know this is no excuse; but I just wanted to have some fun," Logan said, giving Kendall a side-long glance.

"Yeah..." Kendall looked around the room again. "You're not the only one."

Logan sighs, "I get that...You're still mad, I see that...but, it _was _fun, like a game almost."

Kendall crosses his arms again. "Okay, whatever; sure."

_(Yeah)_

_(Come on!)_

_All I want is everything_

_Does that make sense?_

_(Does that make sense?)_

_Does that make me..._

_High maintenance _

_(Maintenance)_

_You crashed my new Ferrari_

_Then said _

_"Fix the dent"_

_(Fix the dent)_

_Yes that makes you_

_High maintenance _

_Whoa-oh-o-o-o-o-o_

_I don't think so..._

Logan finally asks, "Does this mean you want to end us?" Hurt flickers in his dark brown eyes.

Kendall closes his eyes, knowing he may regret his decision. "No...I, I'll forgive you...this time." Logan smiled and leaned forward to pull Kendall into a hug.

"Come, on," The brunette jumps to his feet and take Kendall's hand, getting him to stand too. "Let's go!"

"Where, exactly?"

Logan thinks for a moment. "I don't know, beach, club, movie, anywhere I guess; let's just go!"

"But I have to clean up my house," Kendall points out.

Logan leaned forward to kiss Kendall sweetly for about ten seconds. "Kindle, I promise we'll get to that later."

Kendall nodded, a small smile beginning to form. "Okay, Logie..." Not waiting for his boyfriend to change his mind, Logan drags Kendall out the door.

* * *

**Next up will be "Take a Bow," an installment to the "Don't Forget/Back to December/My happy Ending" saga =D**


	17. Take a Bow

**Like I said before, this is an installment to the "Don't forget" saga. Oh, and this is the Glee version of the song, "Take a Bow." Yeah, and I changed the lyric, '...girl I love you...' but, I guess you know why. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR or the song.**

* * *

_Oh..._

_How bout a round of applause_

_Hey..._

_Standin' ovation_

_Oooh whoa..._

_Yeah, yeah, yeah..._

Kendall Knight steps out of his car, forgetting his bags. This wasn't his house. He was back at Minnesota, but this wasn't his house. It was Logan's. Logan hadn't written back, and Kendall had let that go. Big Time Rush was over now; Kendall, James, and Carlos had gone with it for three more years after the letter. Kendall was 21 now. And he hadn't seen Logan four years. Being away from the brunette that long was killing him.

_You look so dumb right now_

_Standin' outside my house_

_Tryin' to apologize_

_You're so ugly when you cry_

_Please..._

_Just cut it out_

_And don't tell me you're sorry_

_Cuz you're not_

_Baby when I know you're only sorry_

_You got caught_

Logan sat in his old room, reading a book on medicine. He was visiting from medical school for a week, and right now; had the house to himself and was using the time to study. Until he hears the doorbell ring.

Logan puts his book to the side and walks to the window. He thinks he's seeing things. The person standing at the door is Kendall. Sighing, Logan opens the window. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Kendall's heart skips a beat. "Logan, I just wanted to...to come over and...You know..."

"You're kidding me, right?" Logan snaps, an edge to his ton. "Kendall, why did you wait this long!"

"I know, and I'm so sorry, Logan!"

"Yeah, you made that obvious in the letter you wrote three years ago." Logan continued, "You know, that plus the year after I left, I haven't seen you in four years!"

The words cut Kendall like knives. He felt tears threaten to leak out. Kendall knows because of that, that he must look terrible. "Please, Logan...can we just talk?"

"No, Kendall! Please, just cut it out! You think you're sorry, but you're NOT! Stop trying to fix us!" Logan spat, closing the window so fast the glass almost shattered.

_But you put on quite a show_

_Really had me goin'_

_Now it's time to go_

_Curtain's finally closin'_

_That was quite a show_

_Very entertainin'_

_But it's over now_

_Go on and take a bow_

That night, Logan did not eat dinner. He lay in his bed, not reading, but staring up at the ceiling; trying to fall asleep. Logan would admit though, that Kendall did put on quite a show. When they were still friends...still in love…Logan never would have guessed Kendall was faking. But now it was over. It ended long ago; the curtain had finally closed on, 'Kendall and Logan.' Now it was just Logan.

_Ohhh…_

_Grab your clothes and get gone_

_(Get gone)_

_You better hurry up_

_Before the sprinklers come on_

_(Come on)_

_Talkin' bout_

_Boy I love you_

_You're the one_

_This just looks like a re-run_

_Please..._

_What else is on?_

Logan walks to his closet and finds some clothes that were left behind when he went to medical school. One is blue plaid shirt. Logan grabs it and runs downstairs. He opens the door and shoves it into Kendall's arms. "Take this, I don't want any reminders," Logan mutters. "Now get put of here before I turn the sprinklers on..."

Kendall glances sadly down at the shirt, then back to Logan. "Logan...Please...I love you."

"I've heard it all before, Kendall...I can't...I can't trust you anymore...I can't trust you with my heart," the brunette sighs. Logan closes the door without another word.

_And don't tell me you're sorry_

_Cuz you're not_

_Baby when I know you're only sorry_

_You got caught_

_You put on quite a show_

_Really had me goin'_

_Now it's time to go_

_Curtain's finally closin'_

_That was quite a show_

_Very entertainin'_

_But it's over now_

_(But it's over now)_

_Go on and take a bow_

Kendall closed his eyes and walks back to his car. He sits down and places the shirt next to him. But Kendall can't make himself leave. He knows Logan will never forgive him. He's always known that. Always known that their chapter in the story of his life had ended…Something just wouldn't let him turn the page to see what was next. Kendall knew he had to take the bow that signaled the end of love, to end the act Logan believed he put on.

"But I wasn't acting..." Kendall mutters in pure misery.

He doesn't see Logan looking out the window of his room again. "What is he still doing here?" Logan says under his breath. "Can't he take a hit?"

_Ohh..._

_And the_

_Award for_

_The best liar..._

_Goes to you..._

_(Goes to you)_

_For makin' me believe_

_That you could be_

_Faithful to me_

_Let's hear your speech_

_Ohhhhh..._

Logan goes back downstairs and storms out the door. He climbs into the passenger seat and turns to face Kendall. "What are you still doing here?" He demanded. Couldn't Kendall see how much harder this made it for both of them? Logan wanted nothing more to do with the blonde. Kendall didn't deserve a happy ending. He lied to Logan...right? In Logan's mind, yes; the only thing Kendall deserved was an award for the best liar.

"So let's hear your speech then..." Logan murmurs to himself.

Kendall blinked. "What was that?"

"Nothing!" Logan ran a hand through his short brown hair. "God, why can't you just let it go! He locked gazes with Kendall. "Let me go!"

_But you put on quite a show_

_Really had me goin'_

_Now it's time to go_

_Curtain's finally closin'_

_That was quite a show_

_Very entertainin'_

_But it's over now_

_Go on and take a bow_

_But it's over now..._

Logan grabs Kendall's shoulders with both hands, their gazes still focused on each other. "Kendall," Logan says, his voice softening. "It. Is. Over." The shorter boy sighed again, steps out of the car, and re-enters the house.

Taking in a shakey breath, Kendall pulls out of the driveway. But still, he does not go home. This time he stops at the ice rink. Kendall gets out and jumps onto the bleachers. He stands on the highest bench and closes his eyes. Kendall leans over. He bows. And repeats to no one I particular, "It's over now…"

* * *

**Okay, next up will be "The only Exception" (Jarlos)**


	18. The only Exception

**I'm home sick, so I can update this again =D Oh and this will be a Jarlos.**

**This is for: cookielover101 **

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR or the song. **

* * *

_When I was younger I saw_

_My daddy cry_

_And curse at the wind..._

_He broke his own heart and I watched_

_As he tried to re-assemble it..._

_And my momma swore that she would _

_Never let herself forget..._

_And that was the day that I promised_

_I'd never sing of love_

_If it does not exist…_

_But darling..._

Carlos Garcia knew it was too good to be true. He was never good with love. The Jenifers hated him, and he hadn't seen Stephanie since the school dance. Carlos figured he'd just end up alone like his father was now...Carlos' parents had been fighting and were getting divorced. Mr. Garcia had blamed himself...being a police officer he never had time for his wife or son. Mrs. Garcia had sworn she would never forget how her husband practically ignored her and Carlos.

So when James told Carlos' he loved him; the smaller boy couldn't bring himself to believe it. Seeing what happened with his parents, Carlos was ready to conclude that love simply did not exist...but he was pulled in.

_You are_

_The only exception..._

_You are_

_The only exception..._

_You are_

_The only exception..._

_You are_

_The only exception..._

"Carlitos?" James calls. "Where are you?"

Carlos smiles and goes down the swirly slide. "Yeah, Jamie?"

"Have you seen my lucky comb?"

Carlos thinks for a moment. "Nope...wait; yeah, I think it was..." He trails off and walks to their room. Carlos sprinted to the cluttered dresser and searched. "Ah-ha, here it is." He hands the comb to James.

"Thanks, Carlos," James quickly gives Carlos a peck on the cheek. "Are you okay?"

"Sure," Carlos exclaims with a shrug. "Why do you ask?"

James sets his comb down and leads Carlos to his bed. "You've been acting weird."

"What do you mean by weird? I'm a weird person."

"I know your parents got into a divorce, there's no need to hide it."

Carlos crosses his arms and shrugged again. "Who said I was hiding it?"

"My parents are divorced too you know, you get over it; things will get better," James said softly.

"I know..." Carlos muttered.

_Maybe I know _

_Somewhere..._

_Deep in my soul_

_That love never lasts..._

_And we've got to find other ways_

_To make it alone_

_Or keep a straight face..._

_And I've always lived like this_

_Keeping a comfortable..._

_Distance..._

_And up until now I had sworn to myself _

_That I'm content _

_With loneliness..._

_Because none of it was ever worth the risk..._

Carlos did love James, but he knew that somewhere...somewhere deep in his soul, that this love wouldn't last. Eventually he and James would have to find ways to make it on their own...maybe to go back to girls...Carlos never really had a girlfriend, he had found it a comfort being alone. Or...was he afraid to risk breaking his own heart and the one of his lover?

"James...how is this going to work out?" Carlos asks.

James raises an eyebrow. "You're parents going through a divorce? Well, they'll have to decide the whole custody thing-"

"No, I meant how will _we _work?"

The taller boy moved closer to Carlos. "We'll keep dating in secret until we're both ready to come out...that was our plan right?"

"Yeah...it was, but, James; what if it doesn't work?" Carlos demanded.

James blinked, startled. "Of course it's gonna work."

"What if we mess up like our parents did?"

"Our parents didn't mess up..." James joked, "They did a good job raising us."

Carlos shook his head. "Yes, but they messed up with each other."

Frowning, James says, "Carlos, this isn't like you; you're usually, you know...happier?"

"I guess so." Carlos glances up into James' concerned hazel gaze. "Promise you'll never leave me."

"I promise."

_You are_

_The only exception..._

_You are_

_The only exception..._

_You are_

_The only exception..._

_You are_

_The only exception..._

_I've got a tight grip on reality_

_But I can't..._

_Let go of what's in front of me here_

_I know your leaving in the morning_

_When you wake up..._

_Leave me with some kind of proof_

_It's not a dream..._

_Ooh, ooh..._

Then they kissed. It was sweet and slow, everything a kiss should be. Carlos felt his head spin as they break away for a second to take in breaths of air. It almost doesn't feel like real life anymore.

But Carlos knows he can't let go of what's in front of him. He can't let James go. Eventually they fall asleep in each others arms. Carlos wonders if James will still be with him when he wakes up. The possibilities make Carlos nervous, so he snuggles into the taller boy's chest and he feels James' arm wrap tightly around his waist.

"Is this real...am I dreaming?" Carlos asks sleepily.

James laughs softly. "No, Carlitos, you're not dreaming...not yet at least."

"Good," Carlos murmurs. "I love you."

"I love you too." James kisses the top of Carlos' head before they both drift off to sleep.

Carlos' mind floods with thought. He wonders how it is possible that someone can change him so quickly. But it's happening, and Carlos is finally on his way to believing.

_You are_

_The only exception..._

_You are_

_The only exception..._

_You are_

_The only exception..._

_You are_

_The only exception..._

_You are_

_The only exception..._

_You are_

_The only exception..._

_You are_

_The only exception..._

_You are_

_The only exception..._

_And I'm on my way to believing..._

* * *

**Oh, wow...sorry it's short; and probably terrible and had no plot...okay, anyways; I'll do another right now, because, like I said: home sick...**


	19. 1, 2, 3, 4

**Slightly AU cause there's no 'Big Time Rush' (as in the showverse version of the band)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR or the song. **

* * *

_1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4..._

_Give me more lovin' _

_Than I've ever had_

_Make it all better _

_When I'm feelin' sad_

_Tell me that I'm special _

_Even when I know I'm not_

_Make me feel better _

_When I hurt so bad_

_Barley gettin' mad_

_I'm so glad I found you_

_I love bein' around you_

_You make it easy_

_As easy as 1, 2_

_(1, 2, 3, 4)_

Kendall Knight waited impatiently for the tutor Ms. Collins scheduled to meet with him. Since Kendall didn't want a tutor in the first place, waiting just seemed pointless up to this point.

"Sorry, I'm late."

"Logan? _You're _my tutor?" Kendall inquires, jumping off his desktop.

Logan nodded, setting a pile of books on the ground. "Yup, Ms. Collins didn't tell you?"

"No..." Kendall realizes that now would be the perfect time to tell him; they were alone.

"So, you're having trouble with logarithms, right?"

"What? Yeah."

Logan picked up one of the books and hands it to Kendall. "Open up to page 15."

Rolling his eyes, Kendall sits down again and flips to the page. Logan started talking, but the blonde wasn't paying much attention.

"Hey, Logan."

"What?

"How do you say 'I love you' in Italian?"

Logan raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

Shrugging, Kendall answers, "Just curious."

"_Te amo._"

Kendall smiles. "Thanks, Logie."

"Whatever...let's try to stay on topic, thank you."

Kendall didn't protest. He had a plan, and it just started.

_There's only 1 thing_

_2 do _

_3 words_

_4 you..._

_(I love you)_

_I love you_

_There's only 1 way_

_2 say_

_Those 3 words_

_That's what I'll do..._

_(I love you)_

_I love you_

Logan came over Kendall's house on Saturday. "So, where did we leave off?" The brunette asks when they are inside.

"Um...page 15?"

Logan groaned. "Still? Kendall, we'd be further if you hadn't asked me so many questions about languages."

"Sorry..." Kendall hesitantly asks, "So what's 'I love you' in Spanish?"

"Kendall!"

"Please?"

The shorter boy sighed loudly. "_Te quiero_."

"Oh, okay, thanks."

"Yeah, yeah..." Logan mutters.

Kendall gives Logan a break for the rest of the day so things can settle.

_Give me more lovin'_

_Than the very start_

_Piece me back together _

_When I fall apart _

_Tell me things _

_You never even tell your closest friends_

_Make me feel better _

_When I hurt so bad_

_You're the best that I've had_

_I'm so glad I found you_

_I love bein' around you_

_You make it easy_

_As easy as 1, 2_

_(1, 2, 3, 4)_

It's Sunday and Logan allows his and Kendall's tutor session to take place in the park.

"Alright," Logan hands Kendall a piece of paper with about 50 logarithm problems. "These are simple, I'm sure you'll get it."

Kendall stares at the paper for a few seconds before moving his gaze to Logan. "What's 'I love you' in German?"

"What the hell is with you and learning what 'I love you' means in different languages?" Logan spat in annoyance, but answers anyway, "It's, _Ich liebe dich_."

Kendall frowned, very aware of how badly his plan was going. "Sheesh, I just wanted to know...So I could tell someone I loved them in an, I don't know, unique way?"

"You're in love with some one?" Logan asks; his voice calmer. "Why didn't you tell me? Who is it?"

Kendall said, "Nope, I refuse to tell you."  
"Why not?"

"Why do you want to know?"

Logan shrugs, and shivers as a cold breeze passes. "You're my best friend and all...friends like to know things..."

"I..." Kendall stands up from the bench they were sitting on. "I'm done for today...See you tomorrow, Logan."

Kendall walks home and can't feel more stupid. If Logan couldn't get the message, then did that mean he didn't feel the same way? Or even worse...did he assume Kendall was talking about someone else? Bitterly, Kendall wishes he just told Logan head on...instead of turning the most important moment of his life into a game.

_There's only 1 thing_

_2 do _

_3 words_

_4 you..._

_(I love you)_

_I love you_

_There's only 1 way_

_2 say_

_Those 3 words_

_That's what I'll do..._

_(I love you)_

_I love you_

_(I love you)_

_I love you_

Someone knocked on the door. Kendall puts his hockey magazine down and goes to open it. "Oh, hi..." He mutters at the sight of Logan.

Logan smiles. "_Te iubesc_."

Kendall shifts his weight to one side. "And...That means?"

"I love you."

Kendall's eyes widen and before he knew what was happening, Logan's lips were pressed to his. He wrapped his arms around Logan's waist to pull him closer.

When they pulled away, Kendall says sweetly, "I love you, Logie."

"Now that wasn't so hard to say, was it?" Logan inquires.

Kendall shakes his head. "Nope, it sure wasn't."

"Glad to hear that, Kindle."

The taller boy raises an eyebrow. "Kindle?"

"Yeah, I was going to say Kendy, but it sounds kinda weird."

Kendall thought for a moment. "Yeah, you're right, it does."

Logan laughed and states, "I assume this means we're boyfriends now?"

"You assumed right."

"I'm still gonna have to tutor you though."

Kendall jokes, "At least I'll be learning from the most adorable tutor ever."

"Most adorable tutor ever?"

"Yup, bet you can't say that in another language."

Logan's brown eyes glow with a mix of mischief and affection. "Try me."

_You make it easy_

_As easy as 1, 2_

_(1, 2, 3, 4)_

_There's only 1 thing_

_2 do _

_3 words_

_4 you..._

_(I love you)_

_I love you_

_(I love you)_

_I love you_

_1, 2, 3, 4..._

_(I love you)_

_I love you_

_(I love you)_

_I love you_

* * *

**Short. Sweet. And to the point =) **

**Sorry if I got any of the translations wrong. **

**In order, the next few songfics will be:**

"**From a Table Away" (for ScreamLittleSister)**

"**Leave me in the Dark (for oheyyitzang) **

"**These four Walls" (for Man-Suz-She/installment to "Don't forget" saga)**

"**Landslide" (Glee version/last and final installment to "Don't forget" saga)**


	20. From a table Away

**Hi! This is for, ScreamLittleSister =)**

**It takes place three years later and the guys are 20, and this is a slight AU. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR or the song.**

* * *

_I bet you'll never guess_

_Who I saw tonight..._

_Guess you didn't see me_

_In those low dim lights..._

_I knew who she was..._

_By the ring still on her hand..._

_Sure looked like_

_You still wanted to be her man..._

I see that someone is laughing with a girl his age; the two are probably married from the ring I can see on the girl's hand. The guy...he sure looks like he cares about her. Would never leave her side.

They don't see me in the dim lights, but I sure see them. And I know who they are.

_So I guess that means that things are better_

_Must not be so bad at home_

_I thought it looked like you were leavin'_

_But it don't..._

_And I heard tell her you still love her_

_So it doesn't matter what you say..._

_I saw it all_

_From a table away..._

I think to myself, things must have finally gotten better. I see they aren't fighting anymore. They used to fight so much I was sure they'd have left each other by now. From the looks of it, I can see my theory was wrong.

The rumors were true then. That he still tells her he loves her. All those pictures in the magazines, all those newscasts...they were true. I saw it all, and I didn't want to believe it, but it was true.

_I thought she was pretty_

_She's nothin' like the things you said..._

_The women you described _

_Couldn't even turn your head..._

_The two of you look lost _

_In a world all your own _

_Like you couldn't wait to get her alone..._

I don't know what to think anymore. He told me so many times how terrible she was, how she wasn't worth it. But truth be told, she looks like a fine, maybe even Carlos-nice. To top that off, she has the looks too, and I'd be lying if I said I thought she was ugly.

Now I watch as she pulls him into the dance floor, which was cleared for the couples to slow dance. They look so happy. It's like they're in their own world as they get lost in each others eyes. A feeling of bitterness floods through me as I think of what they may do when they get back to his place.

_So I guess that means that things are better_

_Must not be so bad at home_

_I thought it looked like you were leavin'_

_But it don't..._

_I saw it all..._

_From a table away..._

Would I be lying if I said I wish things didn't get better? No. I would not. Would I be lying if I said I wish he was mine...No.

He _was _mine though. In the golden days of my life, he _was _mine. I don't know what happened. Did we grow apart? Was our love simply not meant to be? I hate to think of the answer... but I long for it. I want to know what it was that came between our happiness. And what hurts the most is that I'll probably never know.

They sit down again, still laughing and getting lost in their world. I know I'll do something stupid if I stay here watching torturously. So I stand up and head for the door. Then I hear him call my name. And it takes everything I have to not turn around. I force myself to my car and get in. I wait in the parking lot. I shouldn't, but my heart begs to. So I wait for him to run out after me.

I wait for longer than I'd like to admit, and still he doesn't come out. It is then when I know what tore us down. It was his loyalty to her...the way she came first even when we were together. It was the way he could never love me like he loved her. I knew all along he was straight, that I was his best friend who made his heart confused.

I sigh and pull out of the parking lot. As I drive home, I listen to the radio as a song ends.

_And I heard you tell her you still her_

_So it doesn't matter what you say..._

_I saw it all..._

_From a table away..._

_Yes you're gonna stay..._

_A table away..._

Tears start to blur my vision. They have been waiting to come out for I have forbidden myself to cry over someone who was well gone. But I cared about him and I still do. And now I'll have to watch as they grow up together. I'll be thinking to myself, that could have been us...that could have been us; but it never would have been.

Never again would I look into his heart-melting eyes. Never again would I hear his sweet voice. Never again would we kiss passionately. Never again would we embrace. Never again. Never again. Never again...

The words scream in my mind as I reach my house and continue to scream as I drag myself inside. There is a rather large package at the door, but I ignore it. Instead, I collapse on my couch, quite unable to make it to the bed. Nothing will help...because now, every time I come home, I'll thin about how when he goes home and is greeted by her. Greeted by the person he loves.

After a solid two hours of crying I remember the package and groggily walk to the door and bring it inside. I find the scissors and open it. I sit back down and observe the package's contents. The first thing I find is a BTR album. Actually, it's the debut album. The next thing is a purple bandana. Frowning slightly, I'm wondering if I should remember it. After the bandana there's a helmet. Specifically, a black hockey helmet. A sad smile comes to my face and suddenly I know. There are four more items in the package. I take out a picture of all four of us in apartment 2J after it was remodeled. There is another picture; it is one from our concert; the one Hawk had kidnapped us from. I find the third thing and my heart suddenly feels heavy. A CD. Of the song Edge of Desire. I set it aside and find the last item. It's a walkman with a cassette tap in it.

I close my eyes and reopen them again. I take the package and turn it upside down, shaking it. A note falls out. I read it out loud.

"Dear Logan,

How are you? Carlos and I were moving the last of our things out of 2J-yup; we're finally leaving it- and found these, more or less we just thought it'd be nice to put in the bandana and helmet (Carlos didn't want to give you his so he bought one that looked just like it). Remember our debut album? It's what _really _put our careers into action. And those pictures, we both figured you needed something to remind you of the golden days. That CD...he...you know, wanted us to put it in. The cassette tap...he was responsible for that too; he recorded his voice on it...maybe you should listen.

Hope we can see you soon,

James Diamond and Carlos Garcia."

I stare at the walkman and think of how incredibly out-dated that is. I don't want to think about it now. I move everything to the coffee table and lay down, just wanting to erase his face forever. But there is no such thing as forever, so I guess I'm stuck here in heartbreak land.

* * *

**My heart seriously hurts when I write these you know. **

**And, could you guess who's POV I was in? Because, I purposly refered to Kendall/Logan as 'he' or 'him' so u couldn't...but hey, you can always take a guess...**

**Lol, anyways next up will be "Leave me in the Dark" for, oheyyitzang. **


	21. Leave me in the Dark

**This is for: Oheyyitzang =)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR or the song.**

* * *

_Feel the sunlight_

_Comin' through..._

_But I'm not ready _

_To wake up..._

_Lose this feelin'..._

Light shears through, and your hand slips out of mine. "No!" I beg, reaching for it again. "I'm not ready to say goodbye!"

But you just turn and say with a smile, "Logie, I'm not leaving you, you'll see me when you wake up."

"But it's not the same!" I urge.

You just shake your head and turn to leave. I keep watching for as long as I can as my paradise leaves me.

_Another night of dreams_

_A place where we can meet_

_Finally..._

_I can be myself with you_

_Tell you all the things _

_I want to do..._

_Sunlight have a heart..._

_Leave me in the dark..._

_A little longer..._

The you that felt the same way, that loved me in _that _way; is gone now. For the time being at least.

I pull the covers over my head, not yet ready to meet the heartless sun that separated me from paradise. I am not ready to face real-world you.

"Logan," your voice calls, "Gustavo wants us at the studio early."

I forcibly drag myself out of bed, trying my best not to look you in the eyes; I blindly pick out some clothes and walk into the bathroom, closing the door slowly behind me.

_Last night_

_We took a walk..._

_Down by the ocean_

_Darkness..._

_Hiding us away..._

_But the sky began to change..._

_And I was helpless_

_You were_

_Fading..._

I can hardly focus and when Gustavo threatens me for a third time, you gently nudge me and I am pulled out of a daydream. You don't know it, but you pulled me out of remembering my..._our _paradise. We walked side by side, hand in hand, on a beach; pale orange and pink sky burns as the sun vanishes, the waves of a clear blue ocean crash and wash over the shore. We laugh and try to dodge its spraying water.

Then something happens, you turn to me, eyes flickering with an unreadable expression. Bright green gets darker and darker until it is practically black. Terror rises inside of me as it happens to the ocean, and the sky. Darkness begins to drown you, and I cry out and leap forward to help you, but something holds me back. Tears spring from my eyes and I scream once more as you fade from sight completely.

_Nothing I could do but sigh_

_Meet you in my dreams_

_The next time..._

_Sunlight have a heart..._

_Leave me in the dark..._

_A little longer..._

And I hate how that was shattered. Because now, every time I look at you, I see you being dragged down in darkness. I'll never be able to erase the way you looked, the way the sun burned into me once you were gone, teasingly reminding me it was the one to cause you to fade. I know that I'll see you again, and I shouldn't react as terribly as I always do when you disappear, but its. Just. So. Vivid.

I demand to the sun, that is temporarily shielded from my view, why? Why do you torture me like this? Can't you give me a break and let me be happy for once?

_Maybe when the winter comes_

_Days and nights will blend into one_

_Cold December snow..._

My voice is strained and tired as I attempt to sing. I am yelled at once more, and then we are all told to take the rest of the day off. They are high-fiving each other and running out as fast as they cab, but you stay back.

"Logie, are you okay?" You ask.

I'm not. I'm not okay, and I never will be, because you don't know. You just don't know. I'm tempted to say it too, but if I do, you'll be worried and will bother me until I explain myself. "Yes, I'm just tired," I say.

"Are you sure?"

I've heard it far too many times from you; in real life, and in dream land. "Yes." Without another word, I leave; staring at the ground, to upset to look into the sun.

It could be worse in Minnesota. Winter would have brought shortened days, shortened dreams. Maybe it was like that in LA too, I never would have noticed until now. So thank you very much. I begin to think of ways to make dream-you last forever. I could never wake up...I could do it. But if I did, real-you would be left heart broken...right? Because you don't feel the same way, so would you really truly feel heart broken? Well, only one way to figure that out. I return to the apartment and check to make sure no one is home.

I find what I am looking for in the drawer and pull it out. I take in a deep breath and I do it. That's when I hear your voice call my name. But you're too late. It falls from my hand and I collapse onto the cold kitchen floor and wait for my soul to sink into my virtue. My soul will finally be happy. I feel your presence and you crouch beside me, your voice asking questions, begging for me to be alive. My spirit is fighting now, my heart orders it to give up, and it does. I whisper my last words softly, "_Leave me alone...A little longer..._" You hear those words and stop the pleading, but the tears are still falling.

You carcass my cheek with one hand and croak out through a sob strangled voice, "I love you." But I don't hear you. I'm off, but not to dream land. To a place where things are what I make them.

* * *

**Okay, I PROMISE the next one will be…oh wait, I can't promise the next one to be happy; it's a freaking installment to the "Don't Forget" saga...(sighs) oh well. Yeah...you can also check out my new Kogan fic I'm starting: "Landslide" if you want...doesn't start off on a positive note, but whatev, u kno...**


	22. These four Walls

**I'd like to thank, Man-Suz-She for suggesting this; it really fits for the "Don't forget" saga =)**

**And just in case you're confused about the age; one year went by during "Back to December"/ "My happy ending" so then they were 18, and then "Take a Bow" was three years later, so then the guys were 21; this is the same year so they are still 21. **

**Oh, and Kendall is already out of college, Logan is still in medical school. This is three months after Logan's visit in "Take a Bow."**

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR or the song.**

* * *

_These four walls..._

_They whisper to me..._

_They know a secret _

_I knew they would not keep_

_Didn't take long..._

_For the room to fill with dust_

_And these four walls_

_Came down around us..._

It was over. It was just over. I, Kendall Knight was finished with Logan and there was no way I could change that. There was no way for me to forget either. Everything-and I do mean everything- reminds me of him and makes me remember something I'd never want to admit. I'd never want to admit to anyone that I was the one who destroyed our relationship...

_Must have been something _

_Sent me out of my head..._

_With words so radical_

_And not what I meant..._

_Now I wait for a break in the silence _

_Cause it's all that you left..._

_Just me and these four walls again..._

I know it to be true though...it's so agonizingly true that it was _all_ my fault. All of it. It's just...just something that threw me over the edge. I wish I knew what it was that made me so angry that day...so I play 20 questions with myself every once and a while to find out.

Kendall, were you in any way mad at Logan?

Nope, not that I can specifically recall.

Had you two been fighting?

Not really...I don't think so at least.

Alright, now Kendall, were you embarrassed?

E-embarrassed? Embarrassed how?

Embarrassed about what everyone would think, and what they did think.

I-I, don't know! I think so...

Your words, they were so radical; did you mean them?

No, I didn't...I know what you mean; it wasn't 'Kendall' of me...

Yes, the 'Kendall' I know is protective, fearless, a _leader; _definitely not the kind of person who would hurt one of his best friends.

I never get past four questions because I always stop there. I really should try to get farther though; it fills the silence at least.

_It's hard now to let you be_

_I won't make excuses_

_I've made my peace..._

_It didn't take long_

_For me to loose the trust_

_Cause these four walls_

_Were not strong enough..._

_Whoa..._

I couldn't to anything more even if I tried; I got the message loud and clear during Logan's last visit. Even without saying, we knew that nothing could happen between us again. Logan doesn't even trust me enough to just be friends...I was hoping we could at least have that. I guess the walls that had kept together for so long just couldn't withstand the words I'd give anything to take back.

...These walls we built together...ain't no way of knocking them over...they will be here forever...lies. All lies. That song we wrote together four years ago...it's just another taunting reminder.

_Must have been something _

_Sent me out of my head..._

_With words so radical_

_And not what I meant..._

_Now I wait for a break in the silence _

_Cause it's all that you left..._

_Just me and these four walls again..._

_Yeah it's difficult_

_Watchin' is fade..._

_Knowin' its all my fault_

_My mistake…_

_Yeah it's difficult _

_Lettin' you down..._

_Knowin its all my fault_

_That your not around..._

I could've seen him sooner and then maybe, he'd have forgiven me. But instead I wrote a letter and didn't actually speak to him until four years had past.

Everything about that day and the events that followed; they were my fault; my mistake…I would do anything- even give up my life- to get my Logan back.

It's not happening though.

Not now, or ever. We're over.

Forever. I've gotta learn to live with that.

_Must have been something _

_Sent me out of my head..._

_With words so radical_

_And not what I meant..._

_Now I wait for a break in the silence _

_Cause it's all that you left..._

_Just me and these four walls again..._

_Again..._

_Ohhh..._

_These four walls again..._

* * *

**You read guys? The very end of the "Don't forget" saga is the next chapter! **


	23. Landslide

**This is the end of the "Don't forget" saga; enjoy =)**

**The song is originally by Fleetwood Mac, but I used the Glee version. 9This takes place in the Summer time after "These four walls," so the guys are still 21)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR or the song.**

_I took my love_

_And I took it down..._

_I climbed a mountain_

_Then I turned around..._

_And I saw my reflection in the_

_Snow covered hills_

_Where the landslide brought me down..._

Sighing, I settled pulled my knees to my chest as I gazed out at the lake as it reflected orange sunlight.

So many times did Kendall and I hang out by this very lake when we were younger. I remember, once when we were about 12-years old, it hadn't frozen all the way through; Kendall dared me to jump in. I agreed, but only if he'd do it too.

We both ended up having to go to the hospital.

It's laughable now, but the water was freaking cold. I scooted closer the waters edge and dipped my hand in. A shiver was sent through my body. I trace my finger through the clear water before moving away.

I cast my gaze out to the center of the lake and imagine to boys sitting out on the dock; the taller one coxing his friend to jump.

"No, I don't want to!" the shorter one of the two whimpers.

"I'll jump with you," his friend says. "We'll do it together!"

"The last time we did something together in this lake, we ended up in the hospital!"

"Please!"

He glances back to the water and before he can respond, his friend shoves him in. "Kendall!" He chokes out water once he surfaces.

Kendall is laughing hard, but stops when his friend reaches upward and drags him under. "Logan, what was that for!"

"Shut, up; you know why!"

I watch myself as I splash Kendall. Our laughs grow more distance and we fade along with the dock (the dock, which in fact has been gone since we were freshmen in high school).

I leaned forward and see my reflection. I reach for the water again, slashing my hand through it; altering my face.

Stop thinking about him. You've got to move past it. STOP living in the past!

_Ohhh_

_Mirror in the sky..._

_What is love?_

_Can the child within my heart_

_Rise above..._

_Can I sail through the changing_

_Ocean tides..._

_Can I handle the seasons _

_Of my life..._

_Uh, ohhh..._

_(Uh, ohhh...)_

_Uh, ohhh..._

_(Uh, ohhh...)_

_Uh, ohhh..._

_Oohhh..._

I sighed again and lied down on my back. I watch the clouds drift lazily by.

"That one looks like a bunny!"

My eyes widen and I turn my head to the right and see a 10-year old Kendall. "Doesn't it Logan?" He asks, turning to face me.

I open my mouth to speak, but someone else- someone very familiar- answers for me. "I think it looks like a puppy." My vision zooms out and I see my younger self lying beside Kendall.

"Ur…" Kendall narrows his eyes. "Hey; you're right!" He smiled and turned back to young me.

"No, I'm not," I heard myself mutter. "Ugh, maybe I'm just stupid; who gets a bunny rabbit mixed up with a puppy?"

"You're not stupid, Logie," Kendall says softly. "You're one of the smartest people I know!"

"Thanks, Kendall," Young me squeaks. Then they vanish too. The lake was in summer...the scene that had just unfolded before me had taken place in the fall. I close my eyes to shield the sun of yet, another summer; locking out any visual flashbacks from my memory.

That sounds dumb.

You can have visual flashbacks whether your eyes are closed or not.

_Well I've been _

_Afraid of_

_Changin'…_

_Cause I built my life_

_Around you..._

_But time makes_

_You bolder_

_Children get older_

_And I'm gettin' older_

_Too..._

_Well..._

I just...couldn't get him out of my mind...stupid Kendall!

It was "Til I forget about you" all over again.

Why was it so hard? Why couldn't I just forget and accept the change?

Well, for starters Kendall had been there throughout my entire life-correction; my entire _childhood_…and most of my teen years. I know it's probably been hard for Kendall too, but he's strong. He'll get over it faster and will make a full recovery. In fact, I think he's already starting...I'm 100% sure Kendall's back with Jo. I noticed the trending Skuttlebutter image was of him and Jo laughing together at James' annual summer kick-off party.

I didn't go.

More or less, I didn't _want _to go.

I couldn't blame him for wanting to move past it all; we weren't little kids anymore, we were practically adults...we couldn't mourn about something that happened when were seventeen!

Both James and Carlos tried badgering me into going, but unlike many times before; I didn't give in.

I was ready to leave everything behind, and from the update; it looked like Kendall was too.

_Well I've been _

_Afraid of_

_Changin'…_

_Cause I built my life_

_Around you..._

_But time makes_

_You bolder _

_Children get older_

_And I'm gettin' older_

_Too..._

_Well I'm gettin' older _

_Too..._

Actually, things were going better between us then I'd have thought. Whenever we would bump into each other at Sherwood's or whatever, we'd smile- maybe give each other a quick 'hello,' 'how are you doing'- and move on.

We never really had any real conversation though.

I had to live with simple acknowledgments.

I'm over it, so why would I even care?

I sit up and rise to my feet. I walk through the forest and back to my house. I stop at one tree in particular and look up. There is an old tree house with moss covered walls; its wooden structure threatens to fall apart at even the lightest weight.

The tree that supports it doesn't appear as if it'll last long either. Its leaves a dark green shrivel and crinkle at the ends, and its branches creak even when the smallest of winds blows by.

"I can't believe it's finally finished!" A 7-year old me exclaims breathlessly.

I look up and see me and Kendall in the tree house; which has newer wood and a straighter structure. The tree's leaves are a lighter shade of green, its branches more stable than they are now.

"Well, believe it, Logie!" Kendall squealed. "I can't wait to show Jamie and Carlitos!"

"Oh..." I'm far away from them, but I can still remember the disappointment I had felt when I heard him say that.

"What's wrong, Logie?"

I heard myself sigh, and watched as I sat on the edge of the tree house. "I just thought this place would be all our own."

"James and Carlos are our friends too, right?" Kendall asks, sitting next to me.

"Yes...but, I just..."

"It's okay; it'll be our little secret!" He says, wrapping an arm around young Logan's shoulder.

"But, I don't wanna keep secrets from them!"

"Ha! James and Carlos keep secrets all the time!" Kendall countered. "I followed them after hockey practice and the have a huge stash of candy hidden in the locker room!"

I remember the way my eyes widened at what he told me. "No way!"

"And now, we have this place!"

"Yeah!"

The two little boys hug and slowly vanish, along with the crisp features of the tree and their tree house.

"God, what the hell..." I mutter, shaking my head. I hastily walk out of the forest to escape my past.

I'm only a few paces out of the woods when I collapse on a green metal bench.

_Soooo..._

_I took this love_

_And I take it down..._

_Yeahhh..._

_If you climb a mountain and ya_

_Turn around..._

_And if you see my reflection in the _

_Snow covered hills..._

_Where the landslide brought me down..._

"What's happening to me?" I murmur.

"You're remembering how much you loved Kendall."

I turn to see 7-year old me again, sitting next to me; this time, speaking directly to me.

"How much I...loved Kendall?" I inquire.

"Yes, Logan; you two were such close friends!"

"I know...but he, you know..."

Young-Logan's eyes stay solemn as he locks gazes with me. "He tried to apologize, Kendall still loved you."

"_Kendall_, never directly spoke to me until about four years later!" I argued.

"You're not over him."

I shoot young-Logan a startled look. "What do you mean?"

"You still love Kendall."

"What the hell are you talking about?" I snapped. "I've _been _over him!" For a moment, I feel bad about yelling at a little kid when I remember it's me, and that he's in my imagination. But of course, being me I have the overwhelming compulsion to apologize. "I'm sorry I..."

"It's okay..." young-Logan reaches over and gently touches my arm. "Please think about it."

And just as quickly as he appeared, he's gone. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, and stand up. I begin to walk again.

Not to my house though...

I slowly make my way up the driveway and to the front door. I take in another breath and release it. I knock on the door.

No answer.

I knock again.

The door opens. "Hi, Logan; what are you doing here?"

"Kendall, we need to talk."

_And if you see my reflection in the _

_Snow covered hills..._

_Well maybe..._

_Well maybe..._

_Well maybe..._

_The landslide will bring you down..._

**So, yes this practically begs for a sequel, but I wanted to end the "Don't forget" saga on a helpful note =)**

**Also, the next chapter will be the finale of this fanfiction; it'll be called "Camp Big Time Rush" and will consist of various songs and take place in the real world (it involves both Jarlos and Kogan) **

**I've loved writing these songfics; but sadly can't write them forever, thank you all for reading and reviewing =) **


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